


The Trickster's Truth

by Lona11



Series: The Trickster's Tales [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Avenger Loki (Marvel), BAMF Loki (Marvel), Blood and Injury, Diabetes, Gen, Good Loki (Marvel), How Do I Tag, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Magicless Loki (Marvel), Major Character Injury, My First AO3 Post, Post-Avengers (2012), Protective Thor (Marvel), Temporary Character Death, The Avengers Are Good Bros, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Vomiting, Whump, Worried Thor (Marvel), Worried Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29295153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lona11/pseuds/Lona11
Summary: After the battle of New York, Loki is banished to Midgard without his magic. He is falling right into the hands of the Avengers, who are not exactly happy to see him. Weakenend and injured he is kept prisoner, but is Loki the evil god everyone thought he is? Truths and secrets will be revealed, but not everybody seems to trust the God of Mischief.
Series: The Trickster's Tales [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203386
Comments: 49
Kudos: 131





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is my very first story on AO3 and also my first english fanfiction. I usually write in german as it is where I live. I already wrote that story in german, so this is just a translation from the original. If you prefer to read that one, here is the link to this story: https://www.fanfiktion.de/s/60014c5100034240231cd6eb/1/Die-Wahrheit-hinter-den-Luegen  
> Please feel free to correct me if anything seems wrong, whether it's a grammar or spelling mistake or anything else really.  
> So please enjoy this little story about our favorite trickster :)

After the battle of New York, Loki was brought to trial on Asgard. Followed by his brother Thor Odinsson and five guards of Asgard, he came to a halt in front of the Allfather Odin himself. His face was unreadable, but his sons could see through his facade and they saw great disappointment in his eyes. He stared at his adopted son and didn’t break eye contact, even as he raised from his throne.

  
„Loki Laufeyson, you are standing in court today for all the horrible things you have done on Midgard.“ Odin took a threatening step towards Loki and came to a stop mere inches in front of him. Loki was aware of Odin’s choice of words. He called him Laufeyson, not Odinson.

  
„Multiple human lives were brought to death by your hand or those of your Chitauri army. A behavior like this will not be tolerated and is a disgrace to our kingdom! Wherever you are, there is death and mischief.“ the Allfather screamed and Loki flinched ever so slightly, as the king brought his scepter with a deafening sound to the ground. Thor was standing next to Loki but hasn’t even once looked at him. The disappointment of his brother’s deeds was still to painful. He looked towards his father sadly, as his expression turned from disappointment to anger.

  
„The usual sentence for such horrid acts is death, Loki Laufeyson. But this wouldn’t be a fair punishment for you, you don’t care much about death. Apparently, you seem to have mastered eluding it perfectly.“ Loki grinned, knowing that it would make his adopetivefather even angrier.

  
„For this reason, I banish you from Asgard and send you to Midgard. You seem to have made enough enemies there, who would be more than glad to harm you in any way possible.“ again, Loki grinned. If this was his father’s punishment, then he’d truly gone soft. Even Thor frowned and looked to his brother for the first time.

  
„Father, this is…“ he began, but was interrupted by Odin’s outstretched arm towards him, his gaze still fixed on Loki.

  
„I wasn’t finished, yet.“ Odin let his arm fall again and instead grabbed his scepter to point it at Lokis chest. This time, Loki flinched visible and looked in his father’s last remaining eye with dread. He knew what Odin was trying to do.

  
„Father, you can’t do this!“ he tried to get away from the scepter desperately, but the shackles on his neck, wrists and ankles made it impossible as two guards pulled harshly on them.

  
„I will repeat your words, as they seem to be of great importance to you. I am not your father.“ Loki didn’t know what to respond to that. He was both speechless and horrified. Yes, he did say those words to Odin, but he was extremely angry at this point. At that time, he meant it, but that changed long ago. He looked at Odin with wet eyes, whose expression turned furious.

  
„I hereby banish you from Asgard and release you from all your magic. May there be a horrible fate waiting for you on Midgard, one that will equal your deeds.“ Odin said those words and closed his eyes. A golden shimmer appeared around the scepter and then wrapped around Loki. It passed through his body until it was turning green. A clear sign that Lokis magic, his Seidr, was being pulled out of him. It seemed to weaken Loki immensely. Wouldn’t it be for the power of the scepter, he would surely fall to the ground. Thor could just watch helplessly, as all color drained from Lokis face as his magic was absorbed by the scepter completely. Now, without the power of it, Loki fell to the floor and breathed heavily. He propped himself up on his forearms as best as he could and looked to Odin.

  
„If you only would have given me a chance to explain…“ the God of Lies whispered before his arms gave out and he fell to the ground, unmoving. Thor couldn’t hold back anymore and rushed to his side.

  
„Don’t!“ Odin warned, as the God of Thunder was about to lay a trembling hand on his brother’s back.  
With an invisible magic from his scepter, he picked Loki off the ground, his arms, legs und his head were hanging lifeless from his body. Odin whispered a few incomprehensible words into his scepter and Loki disappeared from Asgard, surrounded by a golden glimmer. Where he once laid on the ground, there were now just the shackles left.

  
„Father, what have you done?“ Thor muttered, while a single tear ran down his cheek. He knew of the horrible things Loki did, but he still loved him. He didn’t believe that his brother was so full of hatered, that it would drive him to do such deeds. Yes, he was the God of Mischief und Lies, but he wasn’t thoroughly evil.

  
„You, my son, will go to Midgard as well. You shall keep an eye on Loki, so that he won’t bring more harm to that realm. Though I doubt, that he could achieve anything without his Seidr.“ Thor stood up from the ground, where he was still sitting on his knees und nodded. He knew, that this was also meant to be a punishment for him. He always saw hope in Loki, he still was and that’s why his father sent him. He hoped that it would change Thor’s mind.  
Without looking back, Thor swung his hammer and flew with it towards the Bifrost so that Heimdall could bring him to Midgard.

  
„My Prince.“ The Gatekeeper bowed before Thor and grabbed his sword.

  
„Heimdall. Take me to Midgard.“ he nodded to the Aesir as a greeting and waited until he twisted his sword to open the bridge.

  
„Make it right again.“ he said and Thor nodded. He knew what Heimdall meant. He was allseeing and much wiser than most. Of course he wasn’t as wise as Odin, but the king’s mind was clouded by anger and disappointment. The Gatekeeper could feel, that there was more to it und trusted Thor to find the truth behind it all.


	2. Chapter 2

„What the hell was this?“

  
„I have no clue.“

  
„Seems to be coming from the roof.“

  
„Come on, let’s have a look.“

___

The first thing Loki became aware of was the freezing cold running through his body. At the same time he felt his head pounding like crazy, more and more intense with every rapid heartbeat. Then, darkness. No matter where he looked at, it was pitch black. He couldn’t even see his hands in front of his eyes. Wait, his eyes… they were still closed. Maybe it would be wise to open them. So he tried and opened his heavy eyelids. Now he could see, but his view was still blurry and he needed a moment to focus on the ground in front of him. He propped himself up on shaky arms so he was sitting upright, wincing while doing so.

  
„Where on Hel am I?“ he asked himself and looked around. He was definitely on top of a building, but which one? Slowly, he stood up on shaky legs but closed his eyes again as the pain in his head intensified. Loki breathed heavily, which seemed to help with the dizziness at least. Carefully, he stepped to the end of the roof and became aware of his surroundings. The God of Mischief looked at a building opposite him. It had to be the highest of them all and his architecture was unmistakable even for the stranger to Midgard. It was the Empire State Building, so he was in New York then. Suddenly, there was a shiver running down his spine as he looked downwards. He could see a heavily damaged logo, where only an „A“ was left of it. Loki swallowed visibly. Odin really dumped him straight in front of Stark. The Tower has been heavily damaged by his Chitauri army and was still being restored. But apparently it was occupied because he could hear the drawing of a bow.

  
„Turn around. Slowly.“ Loki recognized that voice. It belonged to the archer, whose mind he manipulated. The Trickster raised his arms in surrender and turned around slowly. He was facing not only Hawkeye, but the whole team of the Avengers, minus Thor of course. They all stared at him with a disgusted look on their faces and drew their weapons or raised their fists.

  
„Hello, nice to meet you again.“ Loki greeted friendly, but his charm didn’t take effect this time.

  
„I thought Thor brought you back to Asgard.“ Tony replied as he took a step towards the God of Lies.

  
„Oh, he did.“ he grinned back und lowered his arms again. He knew they wouldn’t kill him in cold blood. At least he hoped they wouldn’t.

  
„Why the fuck are you here, then?“ Tony spit out furiously and looked at his enemy with wide, threatening eyes.

  
„Well, you have to thank Odin for that. That’s my punishment. He banished me from Asgard and sent me here.“ Tony was speechless. How could Odin do that, putting that heavy burden on Midgard. Again. Hadn’t he killed enough people already?

  
„I can’t believe it. What kind of punishment is that? You should’ve been hanged!“ Natasha almost screamed. She was obviously furious, like the rest of her team.

  
„Harsh words from the mouth of a contract killer. Maybe you should have also been hanged for all the things you did in the past?“ he replied casually but seemed to have more difficulty standing upright. It also became a lot harder to breathe, he noticed. Natasha glared at him angrily and was about to take a step towards Loki but Tony held her back. Clint still had his bow pointed at Loki’s chest, just in case. Oh, how much he would love to send an arrow right through his heart, but he knew he couldn’t do that. But there was something he could do, just to soothe his conscience of course. He could at least shot him in the leg. That bastard definitely deserved it and he would heal quick anyway, right? So he did what he thought was right and lowered his bow before releasing the arrow. It went right into Lokis thigh.

  
„Argh!“ the Trickster screamed and fell to his side, pain written all over his face.

  
„You pathetic little creature!“ Loki spit and grabbed the arrow with his right hand. It stuck deeply in the middle of his right thigh and blood was flowing freely from the wound and though his shaking fingers. Tony turned around with a shocked and confused look on his face but Hawkeye just shrugged.

  
„What? He had it coming.“ he tried to reason but it didn’t take a lot of effort. The others didn’t really sympathize with the god. But Bruce took a step forward and narrowed his eyes.

  
„Is he sweating?“ he asked and raised his eyebrow.

  
„There is an arrow sticking out of my thigh, you fool! Of course I am sweating!“ Loki ranted through clenched teeth and breathed heavily.

  
„We should pull it out so that it can heal properly.“ Tony said. He was standing next to Loki and grabbed the arrow to pull it out in one swift move.

  
„Don’t!“ Loki tried to stop him but it was too late. Even more blood was streaming down his leg and onto the ground beneath.

  
„Oh, would you have preferred that it’s growing into your thigh? You’re welcome by the way.“ Tony mocked and rolled his eyes. Bruce took another step towards the Jotun and glanced at his still bleeding thigh.

  
„Shouldn’t it be healing already?“ he asked Loki, who seemed to have some trouble breathing but was still propped up on his left elbow.

  
„Is this concern showing in your eyes, Banner? That was your name, right? I only met this ugly, dull creature before.“ Loki knew that he probably shouldn’t upset the Avengers more, but that was just in his nature. He was way too proud to admit that his wound wouldn’t heal because he simply had no magic. He would rather die, then the archer would at least feel guilty about it. He doubt that he would feel very much of it though, but humans were pathetic beings. They would even mourn the devil.  
Loki’s strength finally left him and he fell on his back. His face was white as a sheet and he was sweating profusely. The wound was still bleeding steadily.

  
„I think you nicked an artery, Clint. It’s bleeding pretty heavy.“ Natasha said, but with no trace of concern. Barton just shrugged again but had to admit that perhaps his idea wasn’t that good after all. What if Loki would die? Ah, what the heck, he would deserve that too! At least that’s what he was trying to tell himself.

  
„He’s starting to lose consciousness.“ Bruce stated and was sitting next to the god now. He and Tony were the only ones showing a slight interest to him.

  
„He shouldn’t do that, right? I mean, the wound should heal.“ Tony thought and scratched his head.

  
„I…can’t…“ Loki tried to explain but failed miserably. In the end he was getting weak and wanted to tell them that he wouldn’t heal because Odin took his magic from him. But it was too late as his vision began to darken. His head lolled to the side and his eyes started to close.

  
„Tony…“ Bruce warned but Stark had already noticed and looked at him.

  
„Ehm…alright, what are we going to do?“ Tony looked around nervously, as if searching for an answer.

  
„We have to bring him to the medical bay!“ Steve spoke for the first time since Loki arrived on top of Stark’s Tower.

  
„Yeah, seems like the right decision. Or does it? I mean it’s not like he destroyed half of New York.“ Tony muttered. A natural habit when he was nervous. At least Bruce could think clearly, so he waved to Steve.

  
„Help me with him.“ together they hauled him up and carried him to the med bay.

  
„God, he’s heavier than he looks!“ Bruce grumbled as Tony opened the door for them. They laid him on a bed before Bruce cut off his pants with some scissors.

  
„Can you give me gauze and dressings from that cupboard, Steve? A lot of them.“ Bruce asked nicely but also slightly stressed out. He really wasn’t that kind of doctor.  
Tony, Bruce and Steve worked together as best as they could and finally stopped the bleeding within ten minutes. Clint and Natasha took a seat on a couch in the far corner of the room and watched the scene from a safe distance.  
Loki was hooked up to a monitor that showed his heart rate, blood pressure and oxygen level despite Bruce knowing what was normal for the god. But he could at least see when something was changing. Loki was still unconscious but Tony tied him to the bed anyway.

  
„Okay, what now? What are we going to do with him? Should we contact S.H.I.E.L.D.? Bruce asked but his question was answered with Tony shaking his head forcefully.

  
„No, we better keep them out of it. I don’t want to deal with Fury and his little cockroaches now. He doesn’t seem to heal, maybe he lost his mo-jo?“ Tony joked and took a seat on the couch next to Clint. Bruce and Steve also grabbed two chairs and sat down next to their teammates. Everyone was tired from todays event, but nobody had any clue what to do with the injured god.  
But it seemed they were finally getting some answers as they could hear a loud thunderstorm outside. Everyone knew what was following. So it was only moments later that a concerned looking Thor stepped through the door to the med bay.

  
„There you are. Have you seen Lo…“ he stopped as he saw his brother lying lifeless on a bed, shackles on his ankles and wrists.

  
„What happened? Loki?“ he ran towards his brother and touched his shoulder lightly. Deep concern was showing on his face. When he got no reaction at all from Loki, he turned around and looked at his teammates, clearly shocked. The Avengers have all stood up as soon as Thor came through the door seconds ago.

  
„There was a small…incident.“ Tony began to explain while walking towards the concerned god.

  
„I’m all ears, son of Stark.“ Tony almost grinned, he always loved Thor’s choice of words but he held it back this time. The situation was too serious.

  
„I shot him.“ Clint replied nonchalantly and looked at his fingers.

  
„What? Did Loki attack you?“ he asked, but nobody could look him in the eye.

  
„I wasn’t even near that coward.“ Thor turned around franticly. Loki had regained consciousness again.

  
„Loki, what do you mean?“ he walked next to Loki’ bed, his expression full of worry. Oh, how Loki hated when Thor looked at him like that.

  
„He thought I deserved it and just shot me. I couldn’t even defend myself.“ Loki chose his words wisely. He knew how to make his brother angry. He didn’t add more though. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was still extremely weak.“

  
„You did deserve it, to be honest.“ Tony tried to lighten the mood when he could see the anger in Thor’s eyes. Loki closed his eyes and hoped that it would look like he just wasn’t interested in their conversation. Well, he wasn’t but in truth he was just too exhausted to keep them open any longer.

  
„You can’t really blame us that we didn’t greet him with a hug, Thor. He killed a lot of people and destroyed half of the city.“ Steve tried to reason with him and it seemed to work this time. Cap sighed audibly, he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with an angry God of Thunder.

  
„What’s wrong with him, Thor? I’m certainly not sorry for shooting him, but I thought he could heal himself.“ Clint wasn’t worried but truly interested. He knew that the brothers could endure a lot more than humans and were also able to heal themselves in a certain way.

  
„My father banished Loki from Asgard and sent him here, to Midgard. He also stole his magic, he isn’t able to heal himself anymore. Of course his body is still not as fragile as your weak human vessels but that’s in our nature, he can’t take that from him. But Loki kind of lives from his magic. Without it he is weak and similar to a human body.“

  
„So, does that mean he is human now?“ Natasha frowned.

  
„I’m afraid that without his magic, he is more equal to a sick human than a healthy one.“ Thor looked at his brother sadly, whose eyes were opening slightly.

  
„Brother…“ Loki tried to reach his brother with his hand but was hold back by the shackles.

  
„Is this really necessary?“ Thor asked and turned to Stark who was definitely responsible for that.

  
„Just because he’s sick doesn’t mean that we will forget what he has done. Reindeer Games back there ist still an enemy to the earth and therefore an enemy of the Avengers. I am asking you, Son of Odin, do you usually let your enemies walk around freely as they please?“ Tony said sarcastically but Thor, contrary to expectation, didn’t seem to react to that and stayed calm. He ignored him instead and turned to his brother once more. He looked even paler than usual. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead and he had dark bags under his eyes.

  
„Tell me brother, is this the end?“ Loki whispered. He was too weak to raise his voice more.

  
„No, Loki. I won’t let that happen. Sleep now, it will be better tomorrow.“ Thor laid his hand on Lokis sweaty forehead and the Trickster relaxed visibly. He closed his eyes and fell into a healing sleep.  
The Avengers were watching from a safe distance. Nobody dared to interrupt this private moment. Yes, Loki was their enemy but he was also Thor’s brother and he was one of them, a friend. They had to trust him for the time being. He has always been reckless and naive when Loki was involved but deep down they knew that there was more to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this story so far! I really feel like I'm making a lot of mistakes translating it, tho. Writing a new story in english is definitely easier than translating one, I should've sticked to that :D Please tell me if it's at least readable.  
> For the german readers: the original story is finished now, just in case you want to read it :) The link is in the first chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments! They are much appreciated. :) I edited the last chapters and tried a better formatting with this one, so I hope it's easier to read now.

_Pain. Unbearable pain._

  
_It pulsated through his body from head to toe._

  
_His hands were tied, wrists already raw and infected._

  
_His arms have been brought over his head and were tied to the wall there. His shoulders have gone numb months ago._

  
_He forced his eyes open, just to close them again immediately after. The pain inside his scull was too intense too keep them open longer._

  
_His surroundings never changed anyway. There was always just hard, cold rock all around where he was seated on the ground. It was poking through his pale, fragile body and left cuts and bruises that didn’t seem to heal anymore. Apparently even his Seidr lost its strength eventually._

  
_His body was also littered with countless stab wounds which were placed perfectly, just enough to weaken him but not to kill him. After some time he noticed that this was the biggest torture of them all. He has been here for so long, he just wished for one last stab through his heart and everything would be over. The pain and the never ending torture that slowly killed his mind. But of course they would never be this kind._

  
_He heard footsteps of a creature walking towards him, it was time again. He didn’t even lift his head anymore, just recognized the sound of a drawing blade as it was plunged deep inside his abdomen. He couldn’t hold back anymore, the pain was too much. So he screamed with his last remaining energy and filled the room with his weakening voice._

_______

„Loki? Loki, wake up!“ Thor shook his brother’s shoulders, who tossed and turned on his bed and seemed to have a terrible nightmare. The God of Thunder had never left Loki’s sight but dozed off after some time until the alarms of the heart monitor woke him up again.  
Apparently, Loki couldn’t free himself from this horrible dream, so Thor slapped him right across his cheek. Suddenly he stopped moving and opened his eyes before looking around anxiously. He felt pain, could see shackles, and it was freezingly cold…no he couldn’t possibly be there again. His panic grew and he started tossing again until he met his brothers blue eyes that looked at him, clearly worried.

„Thor?“ he asked carefully. He wasn’t sure if he could trust his eyes just yet.

„Yes, it’s me. I am here, you’re safe.“ Loki relaxed visibly and closed his exhausted eyes again.

„What were you dreaming about? It appeared to be a horrible nightmare. I know how often you were plagued by them as a child.“ there was this look again that Loki hated so much. Did he really look so weak and pathetic that Thor would pity him that much?

„It was nothing, forget it.“

„Will you stop it with your never ending pride! What happened between us, Loki? You were always telling me about your nightmares.“

„Oh, I don’t know, BROTHER. Maybe it’s because I’m not really your brother? Or maybe because my father, who is by the way NOT my father, never loved me? I gave everything I had. Everything! But no matter what I did, nothing seemed to please the oh so mighty Odin. Did he ever tell you why he adopted me? It was just for the purpose of restoring the peace between Jotunheim and Asgard! I was never more than a subject for him!“ Loki screamed and in the end he panted heavily. He was extremely upset and that seemed to weaken his body even more. Why on Hel was he so weak? Pathetic.

„Calm yourself, brother. I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t agree with everything father did to you. Some things were wrong and foolish but he loves you anyway, even when you don’t want to hear it. He’s just incapable of admitting it, he’s just too stubborn and proud. Something he apparently passed on to you.“ Thor smiled sadly and lowered his gaze.  
„But whatever you might think about father, please know that I always loved you and still do. It breaks my heart to see you like that, so please talk to me.“ Loki looked to the side and sighed. That fool always succeeded in making him soft.

„Very well, but not a word to anybody!“

„I promise.“

Tony loosened the shackles on Lokis wrists slightly while he slept, so now he could move more freely and sit up a bit. The movement hurt a lot but was manageable.

„You certainly remember when I was falling into the void and you thought me dead. Well, obviously I didn’t die because I fell into a portal that brought me to a strange place. I was surrounded by disgusting creatures that called themselves Chitauri.“ the memories made him tremble slightly, but he continued.  
„They were commanded by Thanos, a titan whose power and cruelty was far from anything I have ever came to witness.“ Loki gulped audibly and Thor could see how hard it was for him to recall his memories. No matter what happened exactly, it had to be truly horrible to frighten his brother like that. He was shivering visibly under the thin blanket now, his expression full of dread.  
„They…they tortured me. Every day, a creature came to me and embedded his blade into my abdomen over and over again, until my body wasn’t able to heal itself anymore. Months passed until they finally brought me to their leader, who greeted me with this hideous grin I would never forget again. He made me an offer. I should lead his army to take over Midgard and in exchange I had to give him the Tesseract. I would have done almost anything to escape from the daily tortures, so I accepted his offer. I just couldn’t endure it any longer.“ Thor was speechless, what did they do to his beloved brother? He doubted he would’ve ever told him that, if he wasn’t in this weakened state. But apparently, Loki wasn’t finished just yet.  
„I…I know I did terribly things in the past, but-" Loki sighed. „I don’t know how to explain this to you.“ The God of Lies played with his fingers unconsciously while his gaze was unfocused.  
„I was aware of the things I did, but it felt wrong. Like my mind wasn’t completely my own. I still took care of everything Thanos requested from me, maybe it was because of the months of torture I couldn’t think straight. But that doesn’t matter anymore as I and the army I commanded, killed hundreds of innocent human beings.“ Thor couldn’t believe what he just heard. Did Loki regret what he did? He knew that Loki could be manipulative and that lying was in his nature, but the wet tears in his sad eyes made him believe otherwise.  
He didn’t have time to reply as Bruce walked towards them, a cup of tea in one hand and a plate full of food in his other. Loki hastily wiped the tears from his cheek and cleared his throat.

„Good morning. How are you feeling, Loki?“ the doctor asked honestly interested and put the cup and the plate on the nightstand beside Loki’s bed.

„Oh, just splendid.“ he replied annoyed for which he gained an evil glare from Thor.

„Be honest, brother. Remember that Midgard’s medicine is the only thing that can help you right now and I’m afraid that Banner is the only one who’s trying to help you, so don’t be rude.“ Thor thanked Bruce silently with a nod and again, Loki sighed and straightened himself a bit more.

„The pounding in my leg is ridiculously painful and it seems that even lifting my head exhausts my body tremendously. What’s the official diagnosis for that, Banner?“ he spit his name out with an unnecessary disgust, but Bruce ignored him.

„You’ve lost a lot of blood. A human body needs some time for it to be restored. That’s why you’re still so pale and feel extremely exhausted and, to be honest, look like shit. It’s similar with the wound itself. The arrow was deeply embedded into your thigh and damaged the muscle tissue there. For humans, it would take up to six weeks until you could put weight on the leg without it being painful.“ Loki’s eyes went wide and Thor copied his expression.

„Six weeks, are you kidding me? Your pathetic bodies can’t even heal simple puncture wounds?“

„But…“ Bruce added raising one finger.

„You’re still Aesir, not human. Your bodies can endure much more physical harm than our puny ones, as you like to call it.“ Loki ignored that Bruce called him Aesir. It was probably for the best if they didn’t know of his true heritage. He despised himself, thought of himself as a monster. He didn’t want to think about what they would think of him if they knew. Wait, he did not just care about what the Avengers would think of him, right?

„So, what you’re saying is that it won’t take that long for him?“ Thor questioned, raising an eyebrow. Bruce scratched his neck and sighed.

„I really don’t know. I’m not even a doctor of medicine let alone of a completely different species. But if I had to guess, I’d say no, it won’t take that long. But you should still get some rest and eat something.“ Bruce said, pointing to the plate on his nightstand. Loki eyed the scrambled eggs on his plate and snorted audibly before looking at Thor and Bruce questioningly.

„Oh, you really expect me to eat that?“ to clarify his statement, he wrinkled his nose theatrically. Thor knew exactly what his brother did. He obviously wasn’t feeling well, that’s why he acted so rude and defensive. He was probably feeling nauseous too, a common symptom resulting from high blood loss, so he couldn’t really blame him.

„Thank you for everything, Son of Banner.“ Thor smiled at him apologetically.

„Yes, thank you for your unspeakable assistance.“ Loki replied sarcastically at which Bruce just shook his head.

„By the norns, what are you trying to accomplish?“ Thor was clearly angry. Why was he being so ungrateful? Did he really have that much pride?

„I’m telling you this just once, Loki. I don’t know what’s going on inside your head, but these people are trying to help you EVEN THOUGH you destroyed half their city! Don’t you have any honor left in you?“ Thor clenched his fists furiously, but calmed himself soon after. The God of Mischief thought about the words his brother just said. Yes, why did he reject the help of the Avengers that much? Nobody had meant him any harm, instead of Barton of course. But if he was completely honest with himself he knew that he deserved it at least a little bit. He can’t comprehend why he was feeling so much hate inside of him. He could see how beautiful a life could be, if you’re being nice and honest with each other. Wasn’t that a better feeling than being rejected and hated by every single soul in the universe?

„I’m sorry, brother.“ Loki apologized honestly, Thor could see. He still didn’t reply but turned around and left the Jotun alone.


	4. Chapter 4

In the next morning, the Avengers were all sitting at the breakfast table, including Thor. Loki was still in the med bay, nibbling on some dry bread Steve had brought to him after his early morning run.  
Nobody tried to make conversation. The squeaking of knives cutting on the plates underneath was the only sound that could be heard. Thor seemed to be the only one enjoying his meal, so he looked at his teammates quizzingly. He was confused, there was usually a lot of bantering and laughter at the table.

„What’s wrong with you?“ he asked while biting a big chunk out of his bread. It looked almost arranged as everybody was looking at Clint simultaneously. He frowned at them but didn’t say a word.

„Come on, Clint. Tell him.“ Natasha urged and punched his rips slightly with her elbow. Thor lifted an eyebrow and put the bread down on his plate, clearly interested in the following converstation.  
„Alright. Well, Thor you surely know that JARVIS is able to see and hear everything, right?“ Thor nodded. „And maybe, just maybe we kind of overheard your conversation yesterday. Totally by mistake of course.“ Thor was feeling nervous and moved slightly on his chair. He had promised Loki that nobody would find out.

„You were eavesdropping.“ Tony added nonchalantly and took a sip of his coffee.  
,  
„Yes… I did.“ Barton looked guilty, but raised his index finger before the God of Thunder had the chance to reply.   
„At first, I was feeling quite satisfied, it somehow made me happy that Loki had suffered so much.“ Thor could feel his anger rising, but let him continue for now, as he knew what his brother did to Barton.  
„But then he talked about Thanos and that he was feeling like his mind wasn’t quite his own even if he was following his instructions willingly.“ Barton raised his head and looked at Thor for the first time since he started talking.   
„That’s exactly how I felt as he manipulated my mind. Thor, I’m about 99% sure, that he felt the way he did, because Thanos controlled HIS mind as well. He endured months of torture until he was bent to his will and accepted his offer. After that, Thanos somehow managed to creep into his head to control it.“ Thor was speechless. He always tried to find his brother’s good side, but when he attempted to conquer earth, he could see that there was an unexpected evil hidden inside his heart. He never even considered, that he wasn’t on his right mind. But it made sense.

„Back then, when we were fighting each other on top of Stark’s building, I tried to reason with him. I told him to look around, at the terrible things he had done and that he had to close the portal. For a moment I thought he understood, I could see clarity and even remorse in his eyes and he said that it was already too late for that. After that, his eyes became clouded again and he stabbed me with such anger, I had never seen before. I could swear that I’ve seen something flash in his eyes, but I put it off as a reflection of the sun.“ Thor teared up, but quickly blinked it away. The rest of the Avengers looked at them with a shocked expression. Nobody knew what to say.

„Thor, he has to know that he was manipulated. I knew that he controlled my mind, but I still feel guilty about all the people I killed back then. I don’t want to think about how he must feel, not even knowing that it wasn’t his fault.“ Natasha reassuringly but her hand on his forearm and sighed. If Clint hated and even despised just one person in this world, it was Loki. The way he was already able to forgive him after all the things that happened proved, that he was really serious about this. 

„I’ll talk with him.“ Thor stood up and left his unfinished breakfast behind. He’d lost his appetite anyway.

He knocked three times on Loki’s door and waited politely for an answer. After receiving a quiet „Come in“, he opened the door slowly. 

Loki was still extremely pale but his cheeks seemed to got some of its color back. Thor feigned a smile, but Loki saw through it immediately.

„What’s going on, brother?“ he asked and winced as he tried sitting up a little straighter in his bed.

„I see you have eaten your meal.“ Thor ignored him for the time being and pointed at the empty plate on Loki’s nightstand. Loki only nodded quietly.

„How are you feeling? And please be honest.“

„I’m feeling slightly better already, although my leg still pains me a lot. But I really can’t stay in this bed any longer, I’m going crazy!“ to prove his point he picked on his bedsheet, his expression full of spurious misery. Loki knew that he got through to him with this method, it worked every time. Thor sighed.

„But I’m gonna need your help, I’m afraid.“

„Yes, of course.“ Thor couldn’t hide his grin. Did Loki really just ask for his help? Although, according to him, it would make him vulnerable? He obviously took their conversation earlier to heart.

Thor walked over to his brother and opened the shackles on his ankles and wrists with the correct key before carefully taking Loki’s injured leg, so that he didn’t have to put any weight on it and helped him up to sit on the edge of the bed. Once he was sitting upright without Thor’s help, he breathed a sigh of relief. His face grew even paler and he closed his eyes to stop the dizziness, but he looked happy nonetheless.

„How is the pain, brother?“ he asked carefully after taking in Loki’s pained expression.

„Not unbearable.“ he replied, breathing heavily.

„But it doesn’t matter anyway as nothing really helps against it. It’s not exactly convenient for a god to be stuck on Midgard without the ability to heal. I could as well take one of those disgusting cough syrups our healers tried to give us when we were children. It would have the same effect as the medicine the Midgardians provide for pain.“

„I could ask Banner for help. Maybe he’ll be able to produce something stronger for you. It could prove to be very useful in the future.“ Loki just shrugged.

„That would take to long. Besides, I don’t even want to think about being in this pathetic situation at any given time in the future again.“ Thor didn’t answer, but he would still ask Bruce if he could make a potion of sorts. You’ll never know what could happen.

„I’m not so sure it’s a good idea to be standing up just yet, Loki.“ Thor thought and scratched his head nervously. Loki just rolled his eyes.

„Well, I’m not sure how long you are able to hold your body fluids inside of you, but I think two days is a decent accomplishment.“ Thor laughed and patted his brothers shoulder.

„Very well then. But try to avoid putting too much weight on your leg.“ Loki rolled his eyes again. The ever concerned Thor.

Thor put Loki’s arm around his shoulder and supported him with the other arm around his waist.

„Are you ready? On the count of three. One, two, three…“ together they managed to stand up slowly, but it was way more painful than he thought it would be and his vision grew black for a moment.

„Loki?“ Thor asked carefully as his bother closed his eyes. Loki breathed in and out deeply before opening them again.

„It’s fine. Go ahead.“ the Trickster swallowed and then nodded.

Together they managed to hobble to the nearby bathroom and Thor helped him inside. Loki assured him, that he could relieve himself on his own, so he left and waited impatiently behind the closed door.  
Loki leaned heavily on it and winced. The short way to the bathroom was more exhausting then he wanted to admit and more and more beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. His leg throbbed violently and he hoped that he would be able to get to the toilet in time.

But his pride was once again bigger than his mind, so he refused to call Thor for help. So he clenched his teeth and slowly began to limp towards his destination. Luckily, there was a handle attached to the wall next to the toilet, which he gratefully grabbed for support. He finally managed to sit down on the toilet seat and relieved himself.  
But he still had to get back to the door, which seemed to be an impossible task. He managed to put up his pants with his last remaining strength, but couldn’t stand up anymore. Exhausted, he put his head in his hands and knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold on any longer. But Loki’s will was strong and he was stubborn, so he tried once more to stand up, even when black dots appeared on his field of view. But even the strongest will had its limits, so he finally admitted that he needed help and called for his brother.

„Thor?“ his voice was faint and only hard to hear, but the God of Thunder heard it anyway.

He noticed the small tremor in Loki’s voice and hurried back into the unlocked bathroom immediately.

Loki was leaning on the handle, breathing heavily and Thor could see the sweat running down the side of his face. He was unbelievably pale, so he rushed to his side and put his arm over his shoulder again but Loki’s strength was almost gone.

„Loki, you fool! You’re pride will kill you someday!“ Thor murmured, but Loki seemed to be too far away already. Eventually, he couldn’t hold on any longer and went limp. Thor reacted quickly and put his other hand under Loki’s knees and lifted him up in bridal style. He carried the Jotun back to his bed and put the cover over him.

„JARVIS, contact Dr. Banner.“ Thor said, but the door opened only seconds after.

„I already did, Sir.“ the AI replied unnecessarily as Bruce was walking towards him and eyed the unconscious God of Lies.

„I take it the conversation didn’t go so well?“ he asked, raising an eyebrow but Thor shook his head.

„I haven’t told him, yet. I just took him to the lavatory, but he collapsed on the way back.“

„His body is still weak, it will take some time for his circulatory system to stabilize itself. I’m taking a quick look at his wound.“ after patching him up two days ago, Steve put some dark-grey sweatpants and a simple white shirt on Loki, so now it was easier for the scientist to take a look at the wound without cutting the fabric every time. 

He put the pants down only as far as necessary and breathed a sigh of relief when he found the dressings were still intact. He removed it anyway to clean it properly. Luckily, the wound seemed to heal nicely, so he bandaged his leg again after putting some antibacterial salve on it. He was just finished putting Loki’s pants up, when he regained consciousness again. He moaned slightly and lifted his heavy eyelids.

„What happened?“ he asked hoarsely. Thor reacted quickly and helped him to drink something from a glas of water.

„Thank you.“ he added.

„Apparently, you collapsed inside the bathroom.“ Bruce explained and slowly, his memory returned and he sighed, clearly embarrassed and looked at his brother.

„I’m sorry, brother. I should’ve said something sooner.“ Thor smiled and laid his hand on Lokis forearm. 

He finally understood, that he didn’t have to prove anything to him. Thor never thought him as weak. Yes, maybe his body was at the moment, but that didn’t mean that he was weak in general. He lost count of how many times he tried to explain this to Loki, so he was more than happy about this development.

„It’s alright, as long as it doesn’t happen again.“

„I can’t promise anything, but I will try.“ Understanding, honesty… what happened to his brother?

Thor didn’t complain of course. He initially wanted to talk with him about Thanos, but now wasn’t the right time. He didn’t want to upset him further, so he decided to let him take some rest first.

„Rest, brother. I’ll be there when you wake up.“ oddly enough, Loki felt quite safe about that and and he was feeling an unknown warmth inside his chest. He was concerned at first and almost told Banner about it but decided against it as it was feeling nice somehow.

Then, the tiredness finally caught up with him and he fell asleep only seconds later. Thor smiled at him and took a seat next to Loki’s bed.

„JARVIS, please let Stark know, that I will not put these shackles back on my brother’s ankles and wrists.“ he didn’t even try to explain, Barton’s story should be reason enough. His teammates never said anything about that decision.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the kudos and comments!

Three days later, Loki had recovered so far that he could hobble to the bathroom on his own. His leg was still throbbing painfully when he put weight on it, so Bruce showed him how to walk with crutches. Loki had always been a fast learner, so it wasn’t exactly difficult for him to walk with them.

Much to Loki’s astonishment, he got visitors on multiple times a day. He initially thought, the Avengers only visited him to interrogate him or to confront him once again with his cruel past, but they simply took a seat beside his bed and tried to talk to him. He had to admit, the conversational topics sometimes were… interesting, but it was a quite welcoming distraction. 

Natasha had told him something about music. Apparently, there was a guy who called himself „King of Pop“. A truly odd title someone would give himself, he thought, but he listened to some of his songs anyway. He had to admit, he liked the sounds of the different melodies and he was even pretty fond of the singing, although he typically preferred melodic sounds.

Nat didn’t say anything of course, but she could see that Loki liked it. His expression pretty much gave it away, although he tried to hide it.

That’s when she decided to give him a small, silvern device in the next morning, where strange looking, white wires stuck out on top of it. Loki looked at the device warily and raised an eyebrow.

„By the norns, what is this?“ Nat smiled at him.

„It’s an iPod. I uploaded some songs on it, I thought you would like. Here, let me show you how it works,“ she moved closer to him and took the device from Loki’s hands. „If you want to turn it on, you just have to press this little button on the side of it and put the headphones in your ears. Come on, try it.“ she urged und Loki tried to unwire the headphones clumsily before putting them in his ears. He frowned.

„That feels quite odd.“

„Huh? Oh, you put them in the wrong way..“ Nat smiled again and helped him to sort the wires correctly. 

It felt strange to be this friendly around Loki. She was much reserved at first, but after she had visited him a couple of times, she had to admit that the God of Lies was actually a pleasant conversational partner. He also seemed to be less sarcastic, and also tried to reduce his rude comments.

„I think you misunderstood. I find this music quite distasteful.“ Well, he used them less frequently, but apparently didn’t abandon it completely, yet.

The Black Widow rolled his eyes theatrically and sighed to hide her honest disappointment. She really thought, she got through to him. Why did she even try? He wasn’t even worth it, he probably just acted like the oh so poor Loki, who was tortured an manipulated by the mighty Thanos. Why the hell should she believe anything the God of LIES told her?

She tried to contain her anger and disappointment, but Loki saw through her facade of course. 

Natasha turned around frantically and stormed out of the room.

„Wait, Mrs. Romanoff!“ Loki tried to stop her, but her only reply was the loud slamming of the door. He sighed, but didn’t have time dwell on it any longer, as his brother came through the recently shut door.

„What did you do now, brother?“ he asked irritatedly and pointed in the direction of the hallway with his thump. „Natasha looked quite upset.“ he added and sat down beside Loki on the bed.

He saw the iPod in his hands and recognized it immediately. Darcy always listened to odd melodies with it.

„Ah, now I understand. She was being nice to you, did you a favor and you didn’t even ask for it,“ Loki, unlike Thor, did not understand. „Loki, there are things people around here do willingly, if they like someone. It’s called empathy, that’s at least how Jane explained it to me. Natasha tried to bring you joy by giving this device to you, nothing more, nothing less. No trickery and no intrigues.“ now, Loki understood. At least he thought he did, because he was feeling sorry about it.

Natasha tried to bring him some happiness and he rejected her cold blooded. Maybe it was in his nature, it was his Jotun blood, he thought bitterly. Loki didn’t know why he felt so miserably thinking about Natasha being sad and disappointed, but he couldn’t help it, so he sighed.

„Oh.“ he scratched his head and put the iPod on his nightstand. 

He looked at Thor’s worried expression and frowned.

„Brother?“ he asked carefully, returning the worried gaze. Thor sighed, he’d waited long enough to tell Loki about Clint’s assumption.

„You surely can remember our conversation about Thanos and the torture and… you know.“ he looked clearly nervous talking with Loki about that, especially as he winced slightly as he heard the name „Thanos“. 

„I gave you my word that I wouldn’t tell anybody about this, and I didn't. But you certainly noticed, that there is this invisible entity all around this place, talking and taking orders and being mainly helpful to the others. It sees and hears all, quite similar to Heimdall actually. Somehow…“ he knew that he drifted off and cleared his throat. 

„Long story short, our conversation has been recorded, like everything in this place and somehow, Clint stumbled over it by mistake and watched it.“

„This sneaky little crossbread!“ Loki balled his fists and breathed heavily out of pure anger.

„Calm down, brother!“ Thor tried, but it was to no avail, so he simply continued.

„You’ve told me that you were feeling odd, as if your thoughts weren’t your own and Clint immediately recognized this feeling. He was feeling the same way when you manipulated his mind with the scepter.“ Loki finally relaxed a bit, his expression turned from anger to disbelief. Could it really be…?

„I…what?“ he stuttered. He couldn’t believe what Thor was trying to say. 

All the pain he could feel on a daily basis, the unbearable screaming of all those humans he murdered in cold blood. The weeping of the children, who lost their parents in front of their eyes. 

Loki never told anyone, not even Thor or his mother, Frigga, but the nightmares that plagued him almost every night and the memories of his cruel deeds drove him to the verge of lunacy. He couldn’t deny that he thought about ending it all more than once.

The Trickster was so deeply buried in his thoughts, that he didn’t even realize the tear running down his cheek.

„It wasn’t you, Loki. Thanos controlled your mind. He used you to lead his army to take over Midgard. As I know you, you initially just accepted his deal because you had a plan to betray him in the end. But Thanos somehow managed to bend you to his will, so that you would do anything he asked of you.“ even more tears were running down his cheeks now and he didn’t even try to wipe them off.

He was still buried too deeply in his thoughts to care. Good and evil thoughts. On the one hand, he knew now that the people that died and even more people that suffered didn’t do so because of his will, but of Thanos’. But on the other hand they died by his hands. He carried the scepter and lead the army. Wait…the scepter. Loki frantically raised his head and looked at Thor with wide eyes.

„What is it, brother?“

„The scepter! That’s it!“ like he was struck by lightning, he jumped out of his bed and grabbed the crutches that were leaning against the foot of the bed. 

He ignored the momentary pain that shot through is leg and paced up and down the room. Thor chuckled, Loki always paced around aimlessly when he tried to think. Clearly lost in his thoughts, he continued to limp up and down his room, until Thor suddenly stepped in front of him and grabbed his upper arms gently.

„Loki, talk to me!“ he grew impatient, he desperately wanted to know what was going on in his brother’s head.

„The scepter, Thor!“

„Yes, you already said that! What about it?“ Thor let go of Loki’s arms and he immediately began pacing again. Thor rolled his eyes.

„I was tortured by Thanos’ fealty for months, Stabbing, beatings, snake poison…all of them methods to bend me to his will, and he succeeded. But only a few moments ago, the memories rushed back to me. I can remember, at least the time before I was sent to Midgard.“ this time, Loki came to a halt in front of Thor, who looked at him with wide eyes.

„You’re assumption that I had a plan to betray Thanos, was correct. He told me various things, one of them that Midgard was only the first realm he would conquer and a lot of other stuff I was not really interested in. My only desire was the Tesseract and I already knew back then, what great power it possesses. Such a mighty weapon in the hands of this mad Titan was not something I wanted to think about.“ apparently, Loki was exhausted again, because he sat down on the edge of his bed and leaned his crutches against his nightstand.

He maybe was physically exhausted, but his mind worked perfectly fine, so he continued talking with as much energy as before. Now that his hands were free, he was gesturing around wildly.

„He handed me the scepter only minutes before sending me through the portal and after that, all my memories are vanished. At least my own. I only felt hatred and death afterwards.“ Loki was at the end of his story and looked at Thor, whose jaw had dropped slightly. That’s how Thanos succeed in controlling Loki. The scepter.

„Loki, that…that changes everything. I will go back to Asgard immediately and tell father about it.“

No, you won’t.“ Thor was confused. Wasn’t it Loki’s desire to return back home and get his magic back?

„You know father. He will simply say that I shouldn’t have let him manipulate me, that I was too weak to resist. No, he has made his own mind about if and when I will be able to get my Seidr back.“ Loki sighed, the craving for his magic was almost unbearable. Even when he was fully healed within the next few days, he would still feel drained and weak. His Seidr was like his vital energy, it was a part of him and without it, he was extremely feeble.

„You think too poorly of him. Let me at least try and talk to him.“ he suggested desperately.

„Oh, do I? I’m certain you remember your banishment pretty clearly. He only thought you worthy again, after you sacrificed yourself for those mortals. You ignored your selfishness and became a better man after risking your life. Do I have to die first, before he can look me in the eye again without his being full of hatred? I think I have yet to learn my lesson.“

Thor didn’t want to admit it, but Loki was right. Odin always saw a purpose behind his punishments, a lesson of sorts. He wasn’t a thoroughly cruel king or father. In most cases, you could rectify your past. But sometimes, this lesson was almost impossible to ascertain until it was too late.  
Thor could see how difficult it was getting for his brother, to keep his eyes open, so he helped him to lay down again.

„Try to rest, brother. When your leg is fully healed again, we will figure something out. I promise.“ Thor patted Loki’s shoulder awkwardly and walked back to his teammates, who were sitting on the couch of the big living room, watching a movie. They paused the film immediately and looked at him eagerly.

„And, how did it go?“ Steve asked, leaning slightly forward and resting his elbows on his knees. 

Thor smiled. He feared, that they would have listend to their conversation again, even though he asked them not to. He was glad, that he could trust them in that regard, so Thor took a seat next to Tony and begann to tell them everything he just learned from his brother.

„He is taking all of this pretty hard. He’s trying to hide it as best as he can, but I know him too well for that. Without his magic, he’s not that good in making his feelings and thoughts invisible to others. Were things normal, he would just cast a glamour around him and no one would ever notice,“ Thor drifted up again and sighed. „But he made an assumption, at how Thanos could’ve succeeded in manipulate his mind.“

Nobody dared to say a word, their eyes were glued to his lips as he continued to tell them what Loki said.

„Loki had a sudden flash of insight and remembered some things. But only the time, before Thanos handed him the scepter. After that, his mind wasn’t his own anymore and he willingly did everything he had asked him to. We both think, that the scepter was the source of how Thanos could control his mind.“

„Yes, that definitely makes sense. Loki also manipulated Dr. Selvig and I with it. The power clearly came from the scepter.“ Clint tossed in and exhaled audibly.

„Okay, now that everything is explained, when exactly is he planning on leaving again?“ Tony said casually and eyed Thor quizzically. 

The God of Thunder could see, that Tony still felt uneasy in Loki’s presence. He was the only one, that had never visited Loki. At least not on his own. When he did, for the first time two days ago, he was accompanied by Bruce. Loki was sleeping at that time and he couldn’t deny feeling relieved about that.

„He is innocent, Tony. Why are you so leery of him?“ Bruce asked a bit disappointed. Couldn’t he see how much Thor’s brother suffered?

„He may be innocent of attacking New York, but he is still a horrible man. Or god, or whatever it is he is. The stories Thor told us, the ones were he let those Frost-thingies willingly destroy his home-" 

„Frost Giants“ Thor corrected him, but it was completely ignored.

„-he was on his right mind at that time, right?“ he looked at Thor with wide, rigid eyes. He looked almost threatening like that. Thor nodded sheepishly.

„Yes, he was. But he changed, Stark. I don’t know how I can explain this to you, but he is being nice… and honst. It’s been hundreds of years since I last saw him like that.“ he slightly smirked at this memory. He dearly hoped, that his brother came back to him.

But Tony didn’t look pleased at all. It was hard to convince him of the contrary when he had already made his mind up about something.

„I don’t mean to pry, but my conversation with him this morning was anything but kind.“ Natasha said, frowning. Thor just smiled.

„Loki is…sometimes difficult to understand. Believe me when I say, it took me hundreds of years to find that out. He isn’t used to experience such kindness like he received from you this morning, without the other expecting something in return. He never learned how, and I fear that I am to blame for that.“ Thor looked down sadly, clearly remembering some memories he would’ve rather liked to forget.

„Loki was misunderstood and utilized his whole life. I didn’t even do it on purpose, I loved him then as I do now. For me it was just normal rivalry, I mean, that’s what brothers do, right? But Loki has always been more sensible than others and he just pushed it in the back of his mind and never told anybody how he felt about it. He didn’t even tell our mother, which is odd because he always told her everything.“ now, even Tony looked down and was deeply buried in his thoughts. He himself had a… difficult childhood and finally, he began to understand.

Apparently, the conversation was over, as Thor stood up from the couch and disappeared to his room. The rest of the Avengers continued watching the movie, but nobody payed it any attention anymore.

__________

Natasha was restless, she was seemingly unable to find any sleep and wandered around her room instead. She knew that Thor explicitly asked them not to spy on Loki, but she felt the sudden urge to see him.

„JARVIS, please show me Loki’s room.“

„Certainly, Agent Romanoff.“ The AI replied and the live recording popped up on her TV immediately. 

Loki was lying on his bed and had his eyes closed. He seemed to be asleep, he even looked quite peaceful. She wondered why, as he usually was having terrible nightmares when he slept. But then she noticed the white wires sticking out of his ears, connected to the iPod he was holding in his right hand. She could hear the music only faintly in the background and after a few minutes, she turned her TV off and laid down on her bed again. She fell asleep only seconds after, a smile visibly on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to point out that I'm not trying to make Loki and Natasha a couple in this story. Everything that occurs is just friendship, with no romance involved. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm slow in updating this story and I'm truly sorry!  
> But I want to thank you again for your Kudos and comments :)

Two weeks later, Loki could walk around again without it being painful, although he doubted that he could already run, jump or fight with it. The rest of his body was also able to heal itself from the high amount of blood he had lost, but he was still feeling faint and tired and he knew, that this wouldn’t change any time soon. Without his Seidr, that seemed to have become his everyday life from now on. 

Most of the time, he tried to ignore it, shoved it back far away where he couldn’t reach it that easily. But every time that Thor looked at him with his sympathetic smile, he was reminded once again at how miserable his fate was.

Loki also tried to assimilate with the Avengers, although he initially avoided their contact where he could. He didn’t think that they would be very pleased to spend time with this pathetic creature that he was, who tried to conquer their realm and killed hundreds of people while doing so. But Thor assured him, that they were perfectly fine with it, apparently, they even offered to get to know him better.

Tony was thinking a lot about all of this after their last conversation and came to the conclusion, that Loki deserved to get a second chance.

Bruce and Steve shared his opinion. They always seemed to see only the good in people, or gods in this case. 

Natasha forged her own opinion about Loki. Her relationship, if you could call it that, was … different than those of her colleagues to him. Since she secretly watched him sleep with her iPod in his ears, being free of all bad dreams this night, she couldn’t shake the feeling that somewhere inside the body of his, there was a heart. Maybe not even that deeply hidden, as the others thought it was. In many things, she was not so different than Loki, but she would never tell her colleagues, what she really thought about the Trickster. She somehow felt safe and secure in his presence, even thought he had such a menacing personality. Nat barely knew him, and hell, he didn’t call himself the God of Mischief for no reason, but oddly enough she trusted him and she doubted, that he had told them any lies so far.

Natasha was afraid of her feelings, she really avoided thinking about it too much, but she was almost seeing him as something close to a friend. Nat was pretty certain, that Loki would do anything for those dear to him and right in this moment, she was extremely glad that no one of her teammates could read minds.

Even Clint decided to give Loki another chance. Thor thought, that he would probably be the most difficult to convince of his brother’s now good deeds, but quite the contrary. Especially because of his past with him, he knew just too well how it felt when somebody controlled your mind.

So Loki finally pulled himself together and participated in countless movie and game nights, which actually proved to be great fun. Thor was just glad, to see his brother smile again. Not one of his feigned, untrue grins, no he really meant it this time. That’s when he knew that no matter how dark and painful the future may be, together they would make the best of it.

Of course, no one could ever know if Loki would ever get his Seidr back. But then, he was an extremely dangerous and deadly opponent even without his magic. He knew perfectly well how to fight with his two daggers and also his silvertongue wasn’t bound to his magic. He was going to be fine, but he still had to be careful though. His body was not as resilient, as it used to be and he was still weak.

But everything seemed to be fine for the moment, at least. They played a party game called „Activity“, where one had to mime, explain or draw a word, which the others had to guess. Loki only observed the game at first, but after he saw how much fun it was, he wanted to participate in the next round.

So it was his turn to mime a word with his body and hands and couldn’t hide a grin as he read his word. Sorcerer, it said and it couldn’t possibly be any more convenient. Never mind that the sheer thought of his magic pained him deeply, but he soon got rid of that thought and concentrated on his task.

He pointed with his thump at himself, that seemed to be simple enough, right?

„Villain!“

„Liar!“ 

Clint and Tony bawled in at the same time, but looked at each other dumbfounded, holding a hand over their mouths. It was their first intuitive thought about Loki, but they hadn’t exactly planned on being so blunt, it just… happened. Thor’s brother tried really heard and that’s what they thought of him?

But Loki only rolled his eyes and sighed, he didn’t even give it another thought. If he just had his magic, this whole thing would’ve been a lot easier. He frowned and shook his head, he had to use a different tactic.

He couldn’t produce magic, but he still could move his hands like he would perform a spell. Thor recognized it immediately and vigorously stood up from his seat on the couch.

„Magic!“

Again Loki shook his head. That oaf, he only just pointed at himself, how could the word be magic then? If he had at least said magician, then it wouldn’t have been completely wrong. Even though Loki hated that term. It sounded so surreal, so fictive. But then, he was a norse god, so was exactly was fictive?

The others yelled in countless words, like „wizard“, „Harry Potter“ (he surely looked confused, because he had no clue who this Harry Potter was) and Tony had even guessed „epileptic seizure“.

The only one that seemed to be deeply in thought, was Natasha. Her eyes wandered around quickly and she frowned slightly, until she looked at Loki with hopeful, wide eyes. 

„Sorcerer!“ 

Loki clapped his hands and bowed to her theatrically. „Bravo, Mrs. Romanoff. At least someone in this room can count beyond the number three.“

The noise in the living room was loud, everybody discussed how the other could’ve done it better and that the word was impossible to guess. Loki only smirked and sat down beside Thor on the couch.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was, once again, exhausted and he faintly coughed in his elbow.

Of course, Thor had noticed but didn’t say anything just yet. And for that, Loki was truly grateful.

They played another round of Activity, but Loki didn’t pay it much attention anymore as his eyelids became heavier with every passing second and finally, his head fell down.

It was Clint’s turn and he drew something on the whiteboard when he saw the norse god and paused what he was doing and lifted an eyebrow.

„I’m afraid you’re one man down.“ he whispered and nodded in Loki’s direction.

Now everybody could see the Trickster, dozing soundlessly besides his brother and they couldn’t suppress a smile. Thor seemed to be the only one looking worried. He was once again reminded, that his brother was far from healthy. The fatigue, the weak coughing, the exhaustion…Loki had to live with that from now on and nothing but his Seidr would be able to heal himself from that state he was currently in. 

He stood up sighing and picked Loki up in his arms. That he didn’t even wake up from the movement, just confirmed his concern.

„I’ll take him to his chambers.“ he informed them quietly and disappeared in Loki’s room, where he moved in after he was finally allowed to leave the medical bay about a week ago.

The rest of the team gazed back at them sadly. Yes, it looked funny at first and even a bit cute when Loki was sitting there, sleeping, but there was more to it and everybody just became aware of that.

„Do you think it will stay that way?“ Clint asked. Was he worried? Probably and he wasn’t even ashamed about it.

„I’m afraid so, yes.“ Bruce replied and sighed. „Thor had explained, that his Seidr is like his vital energy. I think you could compare it to our immune system.“ he waved his arms around like he always did, when he explained something.

„Now, imagine your immune system was weakened, when you’re sick, for example. You would feel extremely tired and exhausted, right?“ everybody nodded in agreement. „Loki doesn’t even have a immune system anymore, his body is completely drained. I guess the only thing that is still keeping him upright at the moment, is his heritage. He can endure much more than we would ever be able to, but he’s suffering and it’s only going to get worse, I’m afraid.“ Banner let his eyes wander hopelessly to the ground and also his colleagues seemed to be quite nervous.

„Are we seriously worried for Loki, right now?“ Tony asked an scratched his head absentmindedly.

„It seems that way.“ Steve replied, while Clint and Nat nodded.

„I really don’t admit that readily, but I like him…somehow. As long as he doesn’t destroy the city, I mean.“ Tony said and again, his friends had to agree with him.

Natasha smirked ever so slightly, apparently she was not the only one who grew fond of Loki. She couldn’t say why, but she was glad for that development.

„Who knows, maybe Loki will be the newest member of the Avengers someday, fighting alongside of us.“ Steve considered honestly.

„I think he would do anything for his friends and he has a lot of skills, not just his magic. I’ve seen him fighting with daggers like no one else. He would prove to be a strong ally.“

This time, Natasha smiled visibly. Hadn’t she thought about exactly the same only recently? Maybe her opinion about Loki wasn’t as crazy as she thought.

„There is just one tiny little problem. His disease. Can we just call it like that, please? Would be so much easier for everyone.“ Tony tossed in and he had a point. 

Yes, he could definitely fight, but in the state he was in at them moment? He would faint before he even set foot on the battlefield. There had to be something they could do.

„Maybe I can make a serum of sorts, that could give him a temporary energy boost.“ Bruce thought and scratched his head.

„This is actually a great idea, Bruce. I’m gonna help you.“

So, Bruce and Tony went to go to the laboratory and got to work. If that would work, maybe Loki even had a fair chance of a better life, when he wouldn’t be able to get his magic back.

Until Loki appeared on the roof of their Tower, he brought nothing but misery and death with him. But after they got to know him a little better they learned, that his poor soul was just another puppet of the mad Titan and had to endure excruciating torture. So it was obvious to Tony an Bruce, that they would do their utmost to help him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna give a fair warning that there's a character death in this chapter, so be aware! I don't want to spoil anything but for those who are not so fond of a major character death, you should stay put ;) you'll see soon enough!

Bruce and Tony have been in the laboratory, working on an energy-drink for Loki for a week now. They almost did it, they were this close to creating the right formula, but in the end, there was always an equation that didn’t work out. So they had to start all over again. Tony sighed and drove a hand over his face, it was truly tiring.

„I never would’ve thought, that I’d work so hard for a cure that would help one of our enemies.“

„He’s no enemy anymore, Tony.“ Bruce corrected him and looked at him over the rim of his glasses, that were sitting way too low on his nose. Tony simply nodded.

„It’s crazy, isn’t it? I still can’t believe it. I mean, it’s Reindeer Games we’re talking about.“  
Wannabe king of the earth, remember?“

„Would you have told me that a few months ago then yes, it would’ve been really hard to imagine. But now? Honestly, I’m kind of glad he’s here. Somehow, he’s an enrichment for the team. Everyone seems a bit less tense.“ 

Again, Tony nodded while filling a greenish looking liquid into a test tube. „Still, it’s hard to believe that he wants to help us so badly. Don’t you think that’s at least a little bit strange? I mean, he’s still called the God of Mischief, right?“ he asked honestly.

Loki was an enrichment indeed, he emphasized multiple times during the last few days, that he’s very eager to fight with them as soon as possible. But was it wise to trust him so easily? What if he had once again one of his mischievous plans in his mind, only waiting to be put into action? He was simply using them to fulfill the lesson, Odin had in mind for him. Being a good person, fighting in glorious battles alongside his comrades, so that the allfather was willing to give his magic back.

Tony didn’t say those words out loud, but Bruce could see the thoughts in his eyes and sighed. „I know what you’re thinking.“ Stark lifted an eyebrow. Was he really that easy to read? 

„Oh, you do?“

„I think I do, yes. According to Thor, Odin expects Loki to become a better person, that he does something, that would rectify his past. That’s his only chance of getting his magic back. No one knows how to accomplish this lesson, except for Odin himself. Believe me, I’ve been thinking about that multiple times already. That Loki is using us just for his own good, so that he receives his magic back again.“

Both of them were so concentrated on their conversation and on working on a serum for Loki, that they haven’t noticed that he’d stepped into the laboratory to enquire about the progress they’re making and if they perhaps needed his help. Of course he overheard their conversation, so he turned around to leave again, not saying a word.

He was walking around the Tower with his head lowered and arms crossed behind his back. He seemed to be deeply in thought. Did he really think, that they would trust him so easily? After all the things he’d done? Well, he was truly stupid to think that they would. He had done terrible things and he was not thinking about the New York invasion, but about the multiple times he had betrayed Thor, even caused him harm. Maybe they misunderstood the deeper meaning behind his behavior, but he hurt him nevertheless. If he thought about it, they would be foolish to trust him just like that. What a pathetic, little creature he was. He hated himself so much, how could he expect them to like or even endure his presence then?

Loki was just walking back to his room, as Thor stepped out of his own and eyed his brother with a confused look on his face.

„Loki?“ he asked, but didn’t receive any reaction from the Trickster.

His brother was still walking with his head down towards the door of his room, lost in thought. Thor lifted an eyebrow, usually Loki was always alert. Even in his sleep he seemed to notice yet the faintest noise or movement. In their childhood, Thor had never managed to sneak into his room to pull a prank on him and it made him furious at that time. All the more concerned he was now.

He took a step towards Loki and carefully touched his shoulder. „Loki.“ he said and Loki flinched visibly, his eyes wide in realization. „Thor?“

His heart pounded heavily inside his chest, how could Thor sneak up at him so easily?

„Is everything all right?“ his brother asked and removed his hand from Loki’s shoulder.

„I… yes, of course, brother.“ he replied but swallowed audibly.

What was wrong with him? He looked like he had seen a ghost, pale as he was.

„Are you sure?“ Thor pressed and lifted an eyebrow once again. Loki just nodded and disappeared into his room without another word.

Thor sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of his face. Loki had been oddly happy throughout the day, so what had happened, that dampened his mood like that?

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Steve, who came running towards him in his Captain America suit. „Thor, we have to go. The Central Park is being attacked!“

Thor instantly stretched his arm out to catch Mjolnir only seconds later. His armor appeared on his body magically (well, it was magic) and it fit like second skin, a faint roll of thunder could be heard in the distance.

Just a moment later, Clint and Natasha appeared also in full gear, with a serious expression on their faces.

„JARVIS, please alert Banner and Stark. We’ll meet in the lobby.“ Cap ordered the invisible AI and made his way to the elevator, putting his shield on the retainer at his back. Clint and Natasha followed him hastily.

Of course, all this turmoil hadn’t gone unnoticed by Loki, who sticked his head out of his door, looking at Thor with hope in his eyes.

„No, Loki, you’re still too weak to fight.“ he simply said, which instantly sent a shiver down Loki’s spine. He knew that his brother meant well, but it still hurt.

At the same time, Bruce and Tony appeared out of the laboratory and again, Loki looked at them hopefully.

„Have you succeeded in creating a potion?“ he asked nervously.

„Nope, not exactly. Sorry, Lokes.“ Tony replied, stretching his arms out and seconds later, the Iron Man suit formed itself around his body but leaving the face plate off for now.

Bruce could see how desperately Loki wanted to fight and he had a feeling, that he would do so either way. With or without their consent. He considered it briefly.

„Tony, the last serum we created…it had worked, but not for a long period of time.“ now, also Iron Man considered their options, putting a finger on his chin.

„The effect lasted for only ten minutes, that’s far from long enough.“

„I’ll take it.“ Loki interrupted them, already putting on his armor. Oh, how much he missed his Seidr, it took ages to get dressed without it.

„Loki.“ Thor warned, but he secretly knew that his brother could not be stopped now.

„No, Thor. Let me go.“ Loki replied coldly and gladly took the serum out of Bruce’s hands. Thor sighed.

Together, they started out to the Central Park, which was swarmed full of machines. Some of them could fly, they were slightly smaller and incredibly nimble. Tony had to laugh at that, they reminded him of the imperial viper-drones from „Star Wars“.  
But most of the machines were situated on the ground, their physique similar to humans, two arms and two feet, but they consisted of pure steel. There was a blue light shining through the middle of their chest, it actually looked a bit like the arc reactor.

„That’s Chitauri technology.“ Loki said, getting visibly pale.

„What?“ everybody asked in unison, completely stunned.

„Somebody must have gotten a hold of the remains of the Chitauri’s weapons and built those creatures out of it.“ his voice trembled slightly, it was again all his fault. Because of him, they had to face this new army in front of them, just because he had been too weak to resist Thanos’ mind control and led the Chitauri army to earth.

Thor could see the sad expression in Loki’s face and put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. „It’s not your fault, Loki.“

Loki smiled, but Thor could see that he clearly faked it.

„He’s right, Loki. Come on, we have to concentrate on the scene in front of us now.“ Steve said, but Loki didn’t quite believe him. It had been his fault and his fault alone. And he would be the one making it right again.

The battle began and they actually did pretty well. Cap had already killed a few of the Matauri (that’s how Tony decided to call them, a mixture of machine and Chitauri) with his shield and even decapitated one or two with it.

Clint and Natasha fought alongside each other, defeating several of their new found enemies with ease.

Tony was flying in his Iron Man suit and took care of the Star Wars drones in the air. They were quite easy to kill but proved to be extremely nimble, but that didn’t seem to bother him much, as his repulsors killed one by one, their remains shattering on the ground below.

And Hulk…well, Hulk did his thing. You hardly ever had to worry about him.

Thor was fighting alongside Loki, at least he kept his eyes glued to him at any time. Stark had made him a pair of daggers, which were perfectly balanced and lay comfortably in his hands. He seemed to have up to zero problems with the Matauri at first, until he stumbled without any reason.

„Loki, are you well?“ Thor asked instantly while spinning Mjolnir wildly over his head, killing a few enemies whilst doing so.

„Yes. Now stop concerning yourself with my wellbeing!“ he replied clearly annoyed, but Thor noticed that he clenched his teeth from time to time.

He didn’t add anything though. That was until Loki stabbed another Matauri with his dagger and fell to his knees only a second after he pulled the weapon out of his enemy again. Thor ran to him immediately when he saw that he had some trouble breathing and was starting to sweat.

„You’re done, Loki. The fight is over for you!“ Loki frowned, did Thor really just tell him what to do? Ha, that oaf.

„I…I haven’t even taken the potion, yet.“ he was clearly exhausted and could barley keep his head from falling down to his chest.

With trembling hands, he fished the potion out of his pocket and drank it in one big gulp. Thor had a surprised expression on his face, had Loki seriously fought without it until now? He knew that his brother was tough and pretty ambitious, but that he didn’t expect. He should really appreciate him a lot more in the future.

The serum seemed to take effect immediately, as his face got a more healthy color and he stood up from the ground without any problems, grabbing his daggers with his new found strength. He nodded to Thor and leapt at the next Matauri that came his way, killing him instantly. 

He was feeling amazing, he hadn’t felt that way since losing his magic so long ago already. He was running around like a twister, stabbing all enemies that were standing in his way, leaving only dead bodies behind. 

Thor couldn’t hide a grin, he always knew that Loki was a great fighter. But he also knew that the effect won’t last very long, so he still kept his eyes firmly fixed on him.

The other Avengers were clearly impressed by Loki’s talent. Sure, they knew he could fight, but his performance right there was something else. The Matauri army was eradicated quickly by the fast hands of their trickster.

Finally, they had killed every single one of them, so they gathered under a large tree and breathed audibly. But everyone was aware, that the fight had been won, so they all smiled happily. Only Loki’s expression was suddenly turning fearful and his eyes widened. All of them have been resting and haven’t payed attention enough to see, that a seemingly dead Matauri crawled towards Tony and aimed his weapon at him. Loki figured that it was too late to throw a dagger at it, so there was just one other possibility left.

He jumped at Tony and pushed him to the ground, at the same time as hearing the sound of the weapon being activated. They crashed to the ground, Tony falling on his back and Loki right on top of him with all his weight. Natasha eliminated the threat immediately, putting a bullet through his brain, but the damage had been done. They all heard the weapon going off but Tony was confused as he couldn’t feel any pain except for Loki’s bony knee, laying awkwardly in an area where it was not supposed to be. Loki didn’t seem to care about that. How could he, he didn’t move an inch.

„Loki!“ he yelled and carefully laid Loki on the ground next to him, his eyes were closed and a pool of blood was already forming underneath him. A good amount of it already on his suit, where he fell onto. Everyone was swarming them instantly, Thor was on his knees at Loki’s side.

„By the Norns, Loki!“ he yelled and shook his brother’s shoulders. Loki reacted and his eyelids twitched slightly before they opened slowly.

„Loki, are you all right?“ Thor asked, but frowned at his question. You fool, of course he was not all right. There was a gigantic hole in his body!

„Yes. Help me up, please.“ 

He knew that his brother was resilient, but this gaping wound in his abdomen would certainly be fatal for a human being. But Thor did what Loki demanded of him anyway and helped him to stand up. The movement didn’t seem to pain Loki much, he hardly seemed to feel pain at all. This injury should be incredibly painful, so why wasn’t Loki feeling it?

„We have to get him to the med bay immediately!“ Bruce ordered after turning back to his human self.

„Calm yourself. I’m perfectly fine.“ Loki said, pushing Thor’s supporting hand away.

He was able to keep his balance and didn’t even sway a bit, how was that possible?

„We have to stop the bleeding. Come on, now! Hurry!“

Bruce knew that Loki’s current state wouldn’t stay like that for long. He guessed, that the serum was the reason for his supernatural resilience and as soon as it would lose its effect, he would presumably crash instantly. Soon the pain and the high blood loss would be caught up on him.

The scientist was also fairly certain, that Loki’s stomach and probably his spleen and pancreas as well, didn’t so much exist anymore. At least that’s where a big hole was now instead of his vital organs. Of course assuming, that he had a similar anatomy than he did.

They’ve been walking for about two minutes until Loki’s eyes suddenly rolled back in his head and he dropped to the ground like a stone. Or he would have, if Thor’s strong arms wouldn’t have caught him in time.

„Loki!“ he yelled, but this time he didn’t receive an answer.

Loki just laid lifeless in his arms with his lips slightly apart. He didn’t move. So the serum must have lost its effect.

„Please don’t do this to me!“ Thor cried, a single tear running down his face.

The others were instantly at the brother’s side, their expression full of sorrow and fear. 

But then Tony shoved Thor away. „Hand him over, I’ll fly him to the tower.“ he said and Thor just reluctantly agreed to this but he also knew, that this was Loki’s only chance. If he even had a chance at all. He could feel the rest of his already weakened vital energy leave his body for good.

„Banner, hold on to me.“ he finally said and Bruce did as ordered and together, they flew back to the tower.

____________

Tony was flying as fast as he could, but Loki was getting paler and paler with every passing second and was still not moving.

„JARVIS?“ he said and the AI instantly knew what his boss demanded from him and scanned Loki’s body.

„Heartbeat detected. But it’s beating 189 times per minute and his heart is stumbling alarmingly. On top of this, his blood pressure is currently at 70/20. I could also detect a gunshot wound to his abdomen, which is probably the cause for his condition. It seems to be fatal. I’m sorry, boss.“

Tony had dreaded JARVIS’ answer, as he was about 99% of the time correct. But it still felt like somebody had pierced his heart with a stick. Could it really be that Loki died, because he was too preoccupied or just plainly stupid to notice that he was about to get shot? He better survived, otherwise he would’ve never forgive himself. Oh god, he couldn’t even imagine how Thor must feel now. Loki really seemed to have changed and Thor finally had his old brother back after so many years and for what? To be killed by a machine? A machine whose weapon was pointed at HIM, not Loki? Tony didn’t even notice a tear running down his cheek or he simply didn’t care. It was no sign of weakness to cry for a friend, as far as he knew. And yes, he thought of him as a friend.

After he finally arrived at the med bay, he carefully laid Loki’s lifeless body on one of the beds. Almost at the same time, Thor and Bruce were flying through one of the windows, breaking it by impact. They immediately ran towards Loki and Thor desperately grabbed his cold, limp hand.

„Please, don’t do this to me, brother.“ he said again and buried his face on Loki’s almost still chest.

He could hear his rapid heartbeat, which calmed himself a little bit. It was at least a sign, that he was still fighting, even when the fight was pretty much hopeless.

„Loki, please wake up.“ he begged and cried even more now.

You would call it a miracle, but Loki indeed woke up, his eyes full of distress and painful certainty. He definitely knew what was about to happen.

„B…brother.“ he stuttered, his voice getting too weak for comfort.

„Shh…it’s okay, Loki. You’re okay.“ Thor murmured while gently stroking his sweaty hair.

„I…I will go to father right away, he has to make this right again. He must…“ he began and was about to turn around, but was stopped by Loki grabbing his wrist with his last remaining strength.

„No, don’t. I…“ he coughed, but it sounded wet and rattling. As if liquid was filling his throat and mouth. He coughed again and this time, the red liquid ran out of the corner of his mouth.

„I deserve it, Thor. I-" he swallowed and grimaced when he could taste his own blood. „I deserve it.“ he repeated and groaned as the pain got even worse. 

Loki was suffering, he was suffering horribly.

„No, Loki. You don’t. You’ve become the best brother that I could’ve ever imagined. I love you, please don’t leave me.“

Bruce and Tony watched sadly, as Thor begged desperately for Loki to survive. Both of them cried, it always hurt to lose a friend. But if said friend was suffering as much as Loki did, it was nearly unbearable. That’s when Bruce remembered something and searched for a syringe in one of the medicine cupboards.

„Thor, you asked me to create a pain medication that would work on him, just in case. I…I think now is the time to test it.“ he said sadly and reassuringly laid a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

„If the effect is going to be as expected, he won’t feel any pain, but the injection will make him extremely tired. If he’s falling asleep, he probably won’t wake up again. You should say goodbye, now.“

Thor eyes got wide and he shook his head in disapproval. No, Loki could not die. It was impossible! „No, no, he will make it!“ he kept shaking his head but was brought back to reality, as he listened to the sound of Loki’s rattling breaths and even more blood seemed to fill his mouth. Loki was drowning in his own blood, his pain stricken face was so hard to look at. He couldn’t possibly let him suffer any longer, he didn’t deserve that.

„It…it’s okay, Thor.“ Loki tried to say, his voice was barley a whisper anymore.

He began shivering violently, every torturous inhale made his pain increase tenfold.

„Please…let me go.“ he begged, a single tear slowly running down his temple.

„I…Loki…I’m so sorry.“ Thor buried his head in Loki’s nape this time. He was being extremely careful, he didn’t want to hurt his brother further. 

Finally, Thor nodded to Bruce who got the message and walked towards Loki. He slowly injected the medicine into Loki’s upper arm. It just took mere minutes until he closed his eyes and Thor almost thought him asleep, until he heard him speak once more. It was barley audible, but Thor could understand it anyway.

„I love you, brother.“ 

With this last word, Loki’s head rolled to the side and even more blood was running freely out of the slightly opened mouth.

„I love you too, Lo.“ 

Loki always loved that nickname, especially when it was coming from Thor. He suddenly stopped calling him like that someday because they started separating from each other more and more. In the last few months, they started connecting again and became the brothers they used to be. But they had paid an awful price for that.

Loki’s heart was still beating after a few minutes, but it grew more and more weak. He looked peaceful and didn’t seem to suffer anymore, the pain seemingly gone.

Clint, Natasha and Steve arrived shortly after Bruce administered the pain medication and watched with sad eyes how desperately the thunder god cried over his brother. Nobody could hold back their tears anymore because in that moment, all of them lost a colleague, no, a friend.

Loki took three more rattling breaths until he inhaled deeply and exhaled heavily one last time before his chest stood still forever. 

Bruce took a look at his wrist watch, a fat tear dropping on the clock face. Loki had passed away at 8:28 pm.

„No!“ Thor cried and pressed Loki’s limp body to his, the ear-splitting scream full of sorrow and anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh, a cliffy. Sometimes I'm evil and I'm not even sorry!   
> Naah, jokes aside, I hope I can update soon so you don't have to suffer for too long ;)


	8. Chapter 8

Odin was sitting on his throne, holding Gungnir in his right hand while he appeared to be deeply in thought. He had never once removed his eyes from Loki, watching his every move and he noticed what a good man he had become.

He felt the disappointment and anger for a long time. It was so severe, that not even Frigga could get through to him.

His wife loved Loki dearly, she always had. He initially blamed her uncontrolled emotions for not seeing it, but after some time he found, that perhaps he did him wrong the whole time.

If he really thought about it, he never allowed Loki to talk. Never allowed him to explain in his words of what had happened. To Odin, it was all so obvious. Loki’s heart got corrupted by his anger and hatred and he turned from a beloved son to a murderous traitor.

But was it really that simple? The doubts if his punishment was legitimate increased more and more, as he noticed that Loki applied himself a lot to the Avengers but he was Odin, the allfather after all. He couldn’t possibly undo his decision just because he was feeling these disgraceful emotions. What kind of impression would that leave to the people of Asgard?

But as the days passed, Loki became the man he wished for him to be. Because of his deeds and his punishment, his body was severely weakened, but he was still so eager to help the heroes of Midgard, even wished to fight alongside of them.

But at first, he thought that Loki planned something mischievous again, like he always did so he didn’t take note of it.

The allfather had more or less ignored everything Loki had done, but as he saw his son selflessly pushing the Man of Iron out of the way so he got hit instead of him, he understood that Loki hasn’t been planning anything. He really did become a better son, a better brother and most of all, a better man.

Odin smiled sadly while a single tear ran down his face. He realized that Loki understood his lesson days ago and now he had to pay the prize for his own ignorance. He had figured it out now, as Loki was lying on his deathbed, but it was too late.

He immediately whispered aesir words to Gungnir, which began shimmering in a green light.

Odin stood up from his throne and lifted his spear, so the green shimmer shot to the sky in a blinding beam and disappeared only seconds later, followed by a loud thud.

The allfather was exhausted and stumbled back to his throne and sat on it again. He let go of Gungnir and it fell to the ground with a clanking sound.

Even more tears were running down his face now and he hoped that his son was yet to be saved. He had felt it only seconds prior but Loki’s life force had left him. He was dead.

_______

The Avengers were gathered around the bed, which was occupied by Loki, whose lips took on a pale, blueish tint. Thor laid his lifeless arms on his stomach, so lying there like that he kind of looked like he would be sleeping. But the monstrous wound that almost covered all of his abdomen, brought them back to reality quickly.

Loki was dead. He died because he sacrificed himself for Tony. He had fought until the very last second, but in the end he realized himself, that he couldn’t be saved anymore, so he let go.

Thor meanwhile had stopped crying because either his tear fluid ran out or he was simply too exhausted to cry any more at the moment.

He hadn’t stopped looking in Loki’s pale face with his own red-rimmed eyes, not even for a second. His shaking hand rested on one of Loki’s cold ones and his body kept shivering from time to time.

But suddenly, he could feel a strange energy coming from Loki’s Hand. It felt warmer as it felt only a minute before.

Tony immediately noticed Thor’s confused expression and frowned.

„Is everything all right, Thor? I mean, of course it isn’t, but I-" 

„I can feel something.“ the God of Thunder interrupted him, clearly not have listened to Tony’s question, as his eyes grew wide with hope.

„My brother’s hand…it feels warm. And…can’t you feel it? This energy surrounding him?“

They all looked at each other, but nobody seemed to feel any sort of energy. Tony’s glimmer of hope died down as suddenly as it appeared. Thor was imagining things, a perfectly normal process when you were grieving as much as he did. But it wasn’t making things easier for the Avengers.

„Thor…“ 

Steve began and was about to lay a hand on Thor’s shoulder when he saw it. A green light was starting to cloak Loki and was slowly perfusing his body.

„Oh my god, what the hell is happening there? Thor, tell me that that isn’t normal?“ Clint asked with wide eyes.

Thor smiled. Wait, he did what? Why was he smiling? His grin grew even bigger and he eventually started full on laughing.

„My dear friends, Loki is getting his Seidr back!“ he cheered happily and looked at the others.

„What? He…he’s alive?“ asked Natasha now, clearly confused.

She didn’t understand anything, but apparently, her colleagues were faring no better. 

But suddenly, Thor stopped smiling again and instead he sighed. „It’s…it’s complicated. Odin obviously reversed his spell that had prevented Loki from using his magic, but the damage has been done. His injuries are grave, even his Seidr will have its problems fixing this, if it will be possible at all.“

He lowered his head and released Loki’s limp hand. Every little disturbance could decide his fate now.

„Can’t we do anything to, I don’t know, support his healing process a bit?“ Bruce asked.

He was already feeling guilty about not being able to do much for Loki earlier instead of lessen his pain. But Thor shook his head sadly.

„I’m afraid you can’t. It wouldn’t be wise to intervene with his Seidr now. It’s the only thing that can help him and it mustn’t be distracted.“

„I think the best we can do is letting him rest.“ Steve said while patting Tony’s shoulder and shoving him gently out of the room. 

The others followed them quietly but Thor stayed at Loki’s side of course.

_______

Two weeks had passed since Loki’s Seidr had recovered, but he was yet to wake up.

Thor prayed to the norns every day, that his brother would wake up again and everything would be fine, but he hadn’t received any answer from them yet.

Loki had to be bedded every few hours and also be cleaned up once in a while and it shattered Thor’s heart every time he did it. He had never seen his brother so powerless and vulnerable and he decided, that only Bruce or Tony were allowed to help him when it was time again to turn or clean him. Loki was most likely to accept them than the others but he still tried to do it on his own most of the time. He wanted to spare him from any shame or awkward situation as much as possible, but sometimes, there wasn’t any way around it, so he needed the help.

After one week, Bruce had mentioned artificial feeding because Loki obviously couldn’t eat something and he had to get his strength from somewhere. Thor agreed only reluctantly, he was already looking forward to Loki’s anger, that would be lashed out on him with no doubt, when we was waking up with a tube through his nose but he also knew that it was necessary. 

So now, Loki had a tube in his nose from which he received nourishment and an i.v. in his hand, which provided him with fluids. There was also a nasal cannula in his nose because he was still not getting enough oxygen. Several wires were attaching him to a monitoring screen that alerted them immediately, if there was to be any change in his condition.

The green light had disappeared almost completely, it was only covering his wound like a thin cloak now and was working hard on healing it.

Tony and Thor had just finished turning Loki, when suddenly, his hand twitched. They immediately looked at each other hopefully, before looking at the injured man again.

„Loki?“ Thor gingerly put his hand on Loki’s forehead, while Tony took his hand in his.

„Brother, please wake up. It’s me, Thor. Tony is hear as well.“

„Hi, Lokes. I would really appreciate talking to you right now. Sometimes I require someone with a higher intelligence, you know.“ Thor skillfully ignored him.

Loki’s hands twitched more and more and also his eyes seemed to move under his eyelids. He started groaning only a moment later and tossed his head to the sides.

„Loki, calm down. Everything is going to be fine. It’s gonna be just fine.“ Thor tried to soothe him and carefully stroked his head. 

But the monitor started peeping, Loki’s heart was beating way too fast.

„JARVIS, tell Bruce to move his ass here, right NOW!“ Tony yelled while stroking Loki’s hand nervously.

Only a moment later, Bruce came running to them and came to a halt at the end of Loki’s bed, clearly out of breath.

„What happened? Oh, he’s waking up!“

Bruce didn’t hesitate and went to the medicine cupboard to withdraw a translucent liquid into a syringe, which he injected into Loki’s i.v. It only took a minute before he became calmer and his heartbeat was slowing down again.

„What did you give him?“ Thor asked and looked at his brother with worried eyes. He was looking as lifeless as he did before.

„Don’t worry, it was just a light sedative. It won’t last long though, that’s why I will give him something for the pain as well as soon as he wakes up again. I suspect that this was the main reason for his turmoil.“ Banner explained and prepared another drug, ready to inject if necessary.

„Is it really a good idea to sedate him? I mean, isn’t it our main goal that he wakes up?“ Tony asked while crossing his arms in front of his chest.

„Yes, of course, Tony. But Loki was in great distress and seemed to be in a lot of pain, both of which have a negative effect on his recovery. He will benefit much more when he wakes up calmly and without that much pain.“ 

Tony just nodded when he noticed Loki’s hand starting to twitch again. But he didn’t groan or toss around this time, instead his mouth opened slightly, followed by his eyes.

„Loki!“ Thor yelled in surprise and laid a hand on his shoulder.

The Trickster’s eyes moved around aimlessly until he found those of his brother and looked at them tiredly. „T…Thor…“

His voice sounded raspy and way too quiet because of weeks of it being unused, so he coughed a couple of times, flinching while doing so.

„Loki, brother. Are you in pain?“ Thor asked worriedly and Loki nodded slowly.

Without another word, Bruce injected the pain medication into Loki’s i.v. He spent the last couple of days on creating a pain medication, that won’t make him drowsy immediately after taking it. He would require a lot of it and it wasn’t exactly beneficial for his recovery, when he was falling asleep every time after it was being injected.

Loki was sighing with relief and swallowed audibly.

„Better?“ Bruce asked after taking his place at the end of the bed again.

Loki nodded, then looked at his side to Tony, who had just been observing quietly until now. „Stark…you are well.“ the Trickster murmured and closed his eyes again, visibly satisfied.

Bruce just hoped that Loki was simply too exhausted to be awake for longer periods of time and not, that his pain medication didn’t have the desired effect. But for now, it was better anyway if he slept as much as he could. He had created the new medication for his rehabilitation, where he had to be awake to be able to practice. But in his current state, sleep was the best medicine, even for a god.

„Come on, let’s let him rest for a while.“ Bruce reckoned, but apparently, only Tony felt addressed to and left the room quietly.

„That includes you too, Thor.“

„Hm?“ 

The God of Thunder was deeply in thought while gazing at his brother’s chest, still afraid that it would stop moving again.

„All this time, you never left Loki’s side, have hardly slept or ate. Loki needs you now more then ever and you have to be at full strength to be there for him. JARVIS will inform us immediately, if anything changes, so go eat and rest for a while. If will wake you, if something’s up, I promise.“

Thor thought about it for a moment but then sighed and followed Bruce out of the room. But not without lookin back at Loki’s peacefully sleeping form one more time. Banner carefully placed a hand on the God’s lower back (he couldn’t quite reach his shoulders) und guided him out of the room.

He peeked his head into Thor’s room about five minutes later, but he was already sound asleep by then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-Da! Told you, everything will be just fine! Right?...   
> Well, I wouldn't be the master of whump (clearly self-appointed) if I would stop then and there. Loki for sure has a loooong road of recovery waiting for him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna inform you, that I will not dig too deep into the whole Odin thing and there won't be a happy ending with Loki and him living happily ever after. Perhaps they'll have a conversation in a sequel I may be write some time, but I don't like Odin, so I don't like making him a major part of my story.  
> But don't worry, I will at least explain some of it at the end of the story ;)
> 
> And again, THANK you for all your lovely comments! :)

Loki’s situation was declared as stable after an additional week, but he still slept through most of the day and was hardly good for anything else.

He barely talked, but he got a lot of visits from his friends, who were very keen on telling him all the things that happened during his absence. So he was more busy with trying to listen and stay awake at the same time.

Thor was by far his most loyal visitor and he never took his eyes off of him. After he spent three days sleeping in a quite uncomfortable position on the chair beside Loki’s bed, Tony decided to bring an additional bed into the room. Thor’s eyes lit up and he thanked him silently by nodding his head while massaging his hurting neck absentmindedly.

Loki was woken up from all the noise and coughed weakly into his elbow. 

„I’m sorry, brother. Did we wake you?“

„It’s all right. It will probably only take mere minutes until my weak body falls asleep again.“ Loki sighed and closed his eyes for a second.

Thor almost couldn’t take it to see him like that. Never before had an illness or injury kept him in bed for so long, not even after being trampled down by a Bilgesnipe, that broke several bones in his body as a result. He healed quickly then because his magic started working at the exact right moment. But this time, his already mortal body was injured and he got killed. His Seidr only returned to him after he was declared dead for five minutes, so it had to work even more intensely to recover his life force first, before attending to his wounds.

At the moment, he couldn’t even sit down at the edge of the bed without help, not even his pride and obstinacy could accomplish that. Loki was tired and not just physically but mentally as well and one night, Thor could hear him crying quietly while tears were streaming down his face. He felt useless, as he was only able to do anything in his power to support him during his healing process. Just as the Thundergod was about to reach over to comfort his brother, he fell asleep again, the tears still glistening on his temple. Finally, he couldn’t suppress his own eyes from getting wet and he joined his brother with crying silently.

______

A week later, Loki was finally able to sit up on his own and he was slowly but surely getting annoyed by all the wires attached on and at his body. He was about to comb his hair, but got stuck in the i.v. line with one hand, which resulted in pulling painfully on the needle in the back of his hand.

„Is this really still necessary?“

Loki theatrically lifted an eyebrow and to illustrate his point, he held the i.v. line between two fingers before lifting it up in the air.

„I have to give you pain injections at least twice a day. I think that should answer your question.“ Banner replied and looked Loki over. „And you’re also still not drinking enough. Before I can remove the i.v. you should be able to drink at least 1,5 liters, and before you try it-" he raised a finger in warning. „Your stomach is not yet able to take that much fluids, the same applies to food. That’s why this thing also has to stay put for now.“ he pointed at his nose with the same finger he recently lifted.

The nourishment that he received was specifically created by Bruce because Loki’s stomach was barley functioning and it contained only a certain amount of calories and designated substances.

Loki rolled his eyes and cleared his throat afterwards. The i.v. in the back of his hand was disturbing yes, but bearable. The tube through his nose however, proved to be much more inconvenient as it irritated and pained his throat immensely. Bruce knew of the discomfort of feeding tubes and placed a bag of sage drops on Loki’s nightstand.

„These should help, but you should be careful not to take too much of them. They may be not so pleasant in…the aftertaste.“

Loki frowned and clearly didn’t know what the scientist meant by that, but didn’t ask again and shoved a sage drop into his mouth.

Bruce really felt bad for leaving Loki attached to all the tubes and lines, but his health situation did not allow them be removed just yet. As he initially thought, the Matauri shot Loki’s whole stomach, spleen, the left kidney and half of his pancreas. He guessed that even his Seidr would take its time to recreate full organs, especially because it took effect much too late and the wound had already injured his body gravely.

Everyday, Loki was brought to the MRI to monitor his progress and Bruce was quite impressed, that the majority of his organs seemed to have already returned to where they belong. 

„I know you don’t see it that way, but your healing process is incredible, Loki. Every single one of us would’ve died on the scene.“

„Well I did, didn’t I? Odin merely grew soft and returned my Seidr, but as I recall it, I was unmistakably dead.“

Loki was angry, disappointed and confused at the same time, but Bruce didn’t seem to find comforting words for the Trickster. „I think he rather understood that you’ve changed. To the better. But I agree, he could’ve come up with that five minutes sooner. Would surely save you from a lot of pain now.“

The doctor realized, that Loki would probably already be up and running if his Seidr had returned before he died, but it was of no use to linger in the past now.

„I would like to stand up, if it isn’t too much trouble.“ Loki said, probably more to change the subject, and looked at Bruce with pleading eyes.

Bruce sighed. „I know that you’re not so fond of lying in bed any more than necessary, but nevertheless I guess it’s still too soon for that.“

Bruce hadn’t quite finished his sentence, when Loki supported himself with his hands on the bed and tried to stand up. „I guess we’ll find out then.“ he simply replied and already breathed heavily from the exertion.

His face was twisted in pain and he desperately looked at Bruce for help. „I would appreciate some help.“ he wheezed and was already sweating visibly.

Bruce fell out of his trance and supported Loki under his armpits. His legs began shaking dangerously but the scientist kept a firm grip on him and with his help, he eventually managed to stand up. Loki was sweating profusely now and his whole body was trembling. His limbs felt like jell-o and if it wasn’t for Bruce, he would’ve certainly fallen to the ground.

Right at this moment, Thor and Tony came through the door and smiled widely. „Brother, you’re standing!“ Thor cheered happily and stretched out his long arms.

Tony clapped in his hands together once, then pointed a finger at the Trickster. „I told you that it wouldn’t take long anymore. Ha!“

But that cheerful sight didn’t last long, as Loki’s whole body trembled so heavily, that Bruce could feel the vibration coming from it and he had more and more trouble keeping him upright. Loki wheezed dangerously and the sweat kept falling on Bruce’s forearms, so the scientist finally decided to sit him back on the bed.

Loki smiled relieved, but also incredibly delighted and still tried to get his breathing under control again. Without another word, Bruce helped him back into a lying position and handed him a glass of water, which Loki gratefully accepted.

„You did very well, Loki.“

But instead of being proud of what he had accomplished, his expression turned dark again. „You shouldn’t compliment me, Banner, as you did all the work. My pathetic body couldn’t even manage leaning forward on the bed without shaking like a leaf. I didn’t achieve anything.“

„Show yourself some recognition, brother.“ Thor said while leaning at the foot of Loki’s bed with both of his hands. „I can’t think of anybody who would be able to even move an inch with the pain you’re in, not to mention sitting up on their own. I’m really proud of you!“

Loki smiled back at his brother. He knew that he meant it and if he was being honest, he realized that the oaf was right. He was just plainly angry and frustrated. As patient as Loki could be, but when it was about waiting for his body to be recovered again, he had always been as patient as Thor at the beginning of a battle, waiting for it to begin.

But he actually secretly knew that he was making great progress, but his Seidr was only able to attend to his wounds. It couldn’t do anything about the muscle mass and strength he’d lost because of lying in bed for too long. He would’ve to restore that on his own, but would need a lot of help from his friends.

As the adrenalin and the excitement passed, a sharp pain shot through his abdomen and he couldn’t quite suppress a groan and tensed up visibly.

„I think thats my cue for giving you the next pain injection, Loki.“

Bruce had already prepared the syringe and injected the drug into his i.v. at the back of his hand. It didn’t take long for it to take effect and Loki relaxed again and opened his fists, which he had clenched unconsciously. 

„Better?“ the scientist asked and Loki nodded. 

„Maybe you should take it down a notch, Lokes.“ Tony reckoned, putting a hand on his knee reassuringly.

„You want me to go even slower? I’m not some puny human, you fool“ the god yelled, but lowered his gaze shortly after, clearly regretting his outburst. „Please forgive me, Stark. I didn’t mean to get abusive. It’s just…“ Loki sighed and was glad, that Tony started to interrupt him whereas he couldn’t find the right words.

„I understand, Loki. You’re a proud man, and to be dependent on other’s help makes you angry and frustrated. But now, you have no other choice but accept our help and that tears you apart. Is my assumption correct?“

Loki’s jaw dropped, but quickly closed it again and nodded slowly. It was useless to lie, at least at this moment. „Yes, I believe that to be the case.“

„Loki, do you seriously bear a grudge against Stark?“ Thor asked perplexed and straightened up a bit.

Loki just frowned, clearly confused, but then he realized what his brother had implied and shook his head vehemently. He ignored the stabbing pain that resulted of the quick movement. „By the norns, no! You think that I blame Stark for that?“

Loki looked alternately at Thor and Tony and just by their expression he could see, that his assumption had been correct. He sighed and turned to Tony. „I will never regret pushing you aside, Stark. It was a conscious decision and I’m glad to have made it. I’m called the God of Mischief but you are my friend. I would never place such a burden on you. I’m sure you blame yourself enough as it is and I hope this will diminish your guilt at least a bit. I’m terribly sorry to have put so much pain and sorrow onto your team.“ Loki lowered his head once again.

„Our team.“ Tony corrected him and smiled at Loki. The Trickster returned the smile and closed his eyes.

„Rest for a while, Loki. I will come by later and show you some exercises.“ Bruce said and guided his teammates out of Loki’s room, so he could rest properly.

After another two weeks, Loki was well enough to stand up on his own and even walk for short distances. Under the supervision of at least one Avenger, of course but that didn’t bother the god much. He enjoyed the company of the others and was always glad to see them. The MRI’s he received daily, have been stretched to once a week, so he had even more free time now.

„Hey Jackson!“ Natasha greeted him and smirked slightly when Loki eyed her confusedly.

„Jackson?“

„Well, since you’re so obsessed with the music of the King of Pop, I thought it would be a appropriate nickname.“ she joked and placed her arm over his shoulder.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, ready to go since he already expected her. He enjoyed her presence in particular because she had this special positive aura. You could very easily judge the Black Widow to be brittle and emotionless, but he could look deeper and saw the truth. To be fair, she didn’t try to hide it very hard when she was near him. While being with him, she was always high spirited and that made him markedly happy, oddly enough.

So, Loki stood up and reached out to her. „Shall we?“

Natasha chuckled, he had always been a gentleman. She took his hand, careful as to avoid his i.v. and the feeding tube, that dangled wildly in front of his body and still couldn’t be removed yet.

„Would you be so kind and assist me with that?“ Loki pointed at the i.v., and Nat removed the line attached to it, so he could move around more freely.

„Thank you.“ he nodded his head and attached his feeding tube with an additional adhesive strip to his cheek, so that it wouldn’t be able to move around uncomfortably. 

The nourishment Loki got, just had to be administered over night, so Bruce already disconnected it in the morning and now, the tube ended with a white plug at Loki’s hips. After the preparations had been done, they started walking slowly out of Loki’s room, where he moved into again a few days ago.

The agent linked arms with Loki, he guessed probably to support him, should he stumble. That happened occasionally and he made acquaintances with the cold ground of the Avengers Tower frequently. Completely normal, he told himself and tried to stop him from becoming even more frustrated. He couldn’t deny that he was still feeling severe frustration and fury from time to time, but then he thought two weeks back and was reminded once again of his great progress so far.

„How are you? And be honest with me. You know I can see right through you.“ Natasha asked after a while and glared at him.

Loki knew she was right and grinned. If someone could detect his lies, it was her. „It’s a constant pain, but bearable. But in the last few hours, there’s this terrible nausea plaguing me.“

And as if his body just waited for that, Loki grew even paler and swallowed heavily. Natasha immediately recognized the symptoms and ran back to the desk they had just passed and fetched the bin from under it before running back to him and to shov it under his nose. Apparently not a second to soon as he instantly emptied all of the nourishment he received during the night and even more bile. 

Natasha gently stroked his back und noticed that his legs started to shake. „Come on, let’s sit down here.“ she said and guided him to a bench only two meters away from them, while Loki continued retching into the bin.

„Agent Romanoff, shall I contact Dr. Banner for you?“ JARVIS' voice rang out and she sighed with relief. 

„Yes, please. Thanks, Jarv.“

Loki retched one last time, but nothing came out anymore. He was breathing heavily and put the bin down on the ground in front of him after making sure that there weren’t any more surprises following.

„You okay, now?“ Natasha asked worriedly and continued stroking Loki’s back. 

He just nodded and eyed the bin disgustedly. „I’m terribly sorry. I…I should have seen it coming.“

Nat chuckled slightly. „How? That shot out of you like champagne that was shaken too much!“ she full on laughed now and Loki simulated an evil glare and feigned being offended.

„What happened?“ Bruce ran towards them as fast es he could, but reduced his pace as he watched them laughing on the bench like children. He exhaled with relief since he honestly assumed the worst.

„I had a little….accident.“ Loki pointed abashedly at the bin, which Natasha had banned to a far away corner when it started to smell.

„Oh…okay, these are great news!“ Bruce full on grinned and clapped his hands together in front of his face. Natasha and Loki looked at each other, clearly confused.

„Ehm, don’t get me wrong, you’re okay now, right?“ he asked and waited for the Trickster to nod. „Good. The nausea and vomiting is certainly unpleasant but its probably a sign, that your stomach and maybe even your pancreas have recovered fully now! I’ll arrange another MRI for tomorrow, we’ll know more afterwards. And you’re lucky that this feeding tube is not just beneficial for nourishment…“ Bruce reckoned and guided Loki back to the med bay, followed by Nat.

„The tube was initially placed to put something IN your stomach. But it also works the other way around, to drain something OUT of it.“

Loki glared at him disgustedly and wrinkled his nose. Natasha lifted an eyebrow as well and looked at the doctor. „You want that Loki’s vomit goes in there?“ she asked and pointed at the drain bag, Bruce had fetched from the cupboard.

„Well, it’s your choice. You either vomit all day long and feel miserable, or you hardly feel a thing and don’t even notice your stomach contents running into the bag. I know how I would decide.“ Bruce lifted both of his arms in the air and frowned.

„I gratefully decline, Bruce.“

Loki appreciated the help but he still had some dignity left, even in this pathetic state he was in.

„Whatever you say. You can change your mind anytime.“

Bruce put the drain bag back into the cupboard and grabbed a syringe instead before walking back towards Loki. „Let me at least try to help you with the nausea.“

Loki didn’t withdraw his hand, enough consent for Bruce to inject it into his i.v.

„Does this even help?“ Natasha asked confused. 

She knew how Loki’s body reacted to human medicine in the past. Now, that he had his Seidr back, it was probably working even less. 

Bruce just shrugged his shoulders. „No, but now I don’t feel completely useless.“

Natasha chuckled and Loki eyed the doctor gloomy. „So you administer a medicine into my body, that is completely ineffective? That’s…not very professional.“

Banner just shrugged his shoulders again and threw the empty syringe in the trash. He connected a saline solution to Loki’s i.v. as he knew that he would need the additional fluids overnight for sure if he continued vomiting like that.

And again, as if his body knew, he suddenly was feeling nauseas again and he hastily grabbed the emesis bowl from his nightstand, that Bruce had placed there precautionally. He sighed and waited until Loki was finished, before throwing the bowl into the same trash can where he dumped the syringe only minutes earlier.

„What could possibly be left in your stomach for you to vomit?“ Nat asked puzzled.

As much as she felt bad for Loki, she found it quite amusing. Bruce could make it so much easier for him, but he was once again to stubborn to accept help, so he had it coming.

Loki answered her question with a hiccup and retched again.

It was getting late in the meantime and the two left Loki only reluctantly to his misery, but he had insisted.

„Should I walk you back to your room or would you rather stay the night in here?“ Nat asked, before she disappeared out of the room.

„I think I will sleep here tonight, but thank you.“ he replied smiling.

Nad nodded and closed the door behind her.

Loki immediately dropped his smile and exhaustedly closed his eyes. His body really didn’t grant him a minute of rest, until he violently started vomiting again. Over and over again before he stood up on shaky legs and completely drained, to get the bag from the cupboard. He had his pride, yes, but he was no moron. If this bag would help him out of this miserable situation, he would accept seeing his own vomit running into it.

He removed the white plug from the end of his feeding tube and attached the drain bag to it. The dark green stomach contents literally ran into it quickly and he was feeling the relief immediately.

Loki sighed and fell asleep only seconds later, being completely drained and exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki just can't take a break, can he? I'm afraid the following chapters won't be any more pleasant, but I just love whumping him and can't help it.


	10. Chapter 10

In the next morning, Bruce came to the med bay rather early because he couldn’t stop worrying about Loki. He knew that the Trickster probably could handle some nausea and vomiting, hell, he survived way worse, but his mind still decided to not let him sleep that night.

But as he slowly opened the door, he luckily found Loki peacefully sleeping in his bed. Bruce smiled when he noticed the drain bag, that had been attached to his tube. Apparently, he came to his senses after all. The scientist also noticed, that the drain bag was brim-full and about to burst, so he quickly grabbed a new bag from the cupboard and replaced them.

„Banner?“ Loki murmured quietly and wiped the sleep out of his eyes.

„I just replaced the drain bag. Did you sleep well?“ Bruce asked and threw the full bag away.

„After vomiting a rash of my stomach contents into a bowl, I decided to get this-" Loki pointed with a finger to the drain bag. „And I could finally sleep then, yes. Please pardon my initial stubbornness.“

Bruce smiled and waved his hand. „Oh, it’s okay. We’re all so good at telling everybody what to do when their sick or injured, what would be best for them. But when it’s about ourselves, we’re also quite stubborn when it comes to that.“ 

The scientist handed Loki a glass of water, which he took with a smile. „Today is the next MRI scan, am I right?“ the Trickster asked and took a sip out of his glass. 

Bruce nodded. „Yes. We could start right away if you’d like. Are you well enough for it now?“

Bruce knew that those check ups have been quite unpleasant for Loki at times, because he had to lie perfectly still for at least 30 minutes. That proved to be almost impossible when he was in horrible pain.

By now, Loki had good and bad days. On good days, he just needed one pain injection a day or sometimes, he could even manage without them completely. But on bad days, he could hardly leave the bed and had begged Bruce more than once, to just end it right then and there. Those days were hard on everyone, not just Loki himself, so they’re were more than happy that the good days slowly but surely trumped the bad.

Luckily, today was one of the good days and Loki nodded cheerfully. So he sat down at the edge of the bed and waited for Bruce to stand beside him. 

The dizziness was still pretty heavy in the mornings and he made the mistake to stand up on his own not just once. But at least, he was capable of learning. Both of them waited patiently until the room stopped spinning and then walked towards the MRI.

Loki was already lying in the machine when the rest of the Avengers joined Bruce in the observation room, where they could watch the patient through a thick glass window. Loki couldn’t hear what they were saying, because he put on headphones that drowned out the loud noise of the MRI machine.

This check up had to be one of the most important ones over the last few days to weeks, since Bruce had speculated, that Loki’s organs may possibly be fully recovered again. If that would be the case, Loki could live a normal life again, at least to some extend and Bruce would give him permission to finally use his magic. 

Up until now, Bruce had strongly advised against using his magic for only the slightest spark and Loki obediently did as he was told. Much to Thor’s surprise, as he thought that he couldn’t be stopped as soon as he received his Seidr back.

The tension inside the room had been intense and nobody dared to say a word. Everyone was looking rather interested at the computer monitor, where hundreds of different pictures of Loki’s abdomen popped up. Admittedly, no one except Bruce could make sense of it, but somehow the pictures calmed them down anyway.

„Were you able to see anything, yet?“ Clint asked and finally broke the awkward silence with it.

„No, the MRI didn’t reach the epigastric region, yet.“

Clint nodded once and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Then again, silence. For another endless 20 minutes before Bruce intently peered at the monitor. Then suddenly, he picked the glasses from his nose and let it fall on the desk in front of him. He grinned widely and stretched out his arms while spinning around in his chair, facing his colleagues.

„His organs have fully recovered!“

Everyone was clapping and cheering loudly. Thor could feel a wetness in his eyes, but wiped it away hastily so no one noticed. „Those are marvelous news, Banner!“ Thor happily walked towards him and not so gently clapped him on the back.

„We’ve waited so long for that!“ Nat added and she couldn’t stop grinning.

But suddenly, the computer peeped once and Bruce turned around again. He grabbed his glasses from the desk and put them on his nose again, before trying to find out what the peeping exactly meant. The noise usually just occurred, when something suspicious was found.

„Bruce?“ Tony asked worriedly and everyone turned silent again.

„I’m afraid I have to correct myself. ALMOST all of his organs recovered fully.“ he hastily typed on the keyboard and clicked with the mouse until more pictures of Loki’s abdomen opened.

„Look, that’s his pancreas. The picture is from the first scan we’ve made.“ Bruce pointed at said picture and everyone was coming closer to look at it. „And that is the scan from earlier.“ now he pointed at the picture next to it and the Avengers could see the difference even without medical knowledge. Because there was no difference. The MRI scans looked exactly the same.

„How…how’s that possible?“ Steve asked rather shocked and narrowed his eyes.

Bruce sighed. „I don’t know. I can’t explain it. His stomach, spleen and the left kidney had been destroyed completely and now they’ve been recovered fully. His pancreas was „just“ destroyed partly but apparently, his Seidr hadn’t touched that part of his body, yet.“

„Perhaps Loki will have some answers to that.“ Thor guessed eventually.

„Assuming that it’s irreversible…could he live a normal life with that?“ Clint asked slightly worried.

His grandfather had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when he had been a child and he could just remember it very vaguely, but a part of his pancreas had been removed at that time and he suffered from severe nausea and was in pain daily after the surgery.

Bruce sighed, as he did a lot these days. He had again, no answer to that. „It’s hard to say. An average human being would have never survived such injuries. If the pancreas was wounded that badly as his was, it’s mostly lethal. I can’t exactly evaluate, which parts of the organ are destroyed and which are still functional, since I already said it a lot of times: I’m really not that kind of doctor. I just know, that those people often have problems with their insulin and glucose production and also struggle with nausea in most cases. But that’s about all I know about it. And, to make matters worse, Loki is not even human, nobody could possibly know the outcome of all this. But, I know a pretty decent abdominal surgeon and I’ll try to contact him. He’s not really a specialist for aliens but then who is, nowadays?“ 

With that, Bruce stood up and opened the room to the MRI machine, where Loki was still lying in, listening to „Beat it“. The scientist pushed a button on the side of it and then, Loki finally appeared out of it again. He sat down next to him when Loki eyed him, slightly confused. He was looking in the faces of his comrades, everyone wore different expression.

Thor smiled and looked rather happy, whereas Nat looked extremely worried and Steve’s eyes had become wet. Tony’s expression was completely blank and Clint just had his arms crossed in front of his chest , his gaze turned to the ground.

Nobody dared to say a word until Loki impatiently liftet his eyebrows and looked at them quizzically. Finally, Bruce broke the silence and sighed (again). „Do you want to hear the good or the bad news first?“

Loki was looking even more confused now. „The…good?“ he looked unsure, not knowing what to expect. How bad was bad?

„Well, the good news is, that your stomach, spleen and the left kidney are fully recovered again. I couldn’t even find scar tissue.“

Loki grinned wide, that were great news indeed. But his expression turned confused again as he remembered something. „But…I was also missing part of my pancreas, was I not?“

„I have compared your first MRI scan with the last and unfortunately, nothing changed. Your pancreas looks the same as it did six weeks ago. It has not been healed.“ Bruce scratched his eyebrow nervously.

„That’s…That’s not possible.“ Loki muttered even more confused now and stood up from the stretcher. He wandered around, deeply in thought and grabbing his chin in a reflective manner.

„Do you have any explanation for that, brother?“ Thor asked, who was worrying least of all. 

Loki had been able to heal that much of his injuries already, his Seidr would surely take care of his pancreas as well. At least that’s what he persuaded himself.

„I’m thinking, as you can certainly see.“ Loki grumbled and after a while, he sat down next to Bruce again. „I’ve come to only one conclusion…“ he sighed briefly and crossed his arms in front of his chest then. „When my Seidr returned, it instantly tended to my worst injuries. Because they’ve been so severe, the less serious ones were ignored first and in the end, my Seidr missed it.“

„Is that even possible?“ Tony inquired while looking quite bewildered at the Trickster.

„Apparently so, Stark.“ he simply replied and sighed once more. „But now, that my body is healed, my Seidr should be able to detect the missed injuries. It should be able to understand, which body parts are healthy and which are not.“

The Avengers were hopeful again, assuming that Loki was right about that, of course.

„If what you’re saying is right, then we should be able to see a difference in a few days. If not…we have to think about how we can make this easier for you.“ Bruce said at last and stood up.

Nobody wanted to hear those words, but they knew that if that turned out to be the case, they could manage that as well, or more so Loki. In the end, he was the one that had to live with that.

_________

Three days later, Loki had his next MRI scan and was now sitting next to Bruce at the computer. Like he did only days before, the scientist searched for the different MRI scans and compared the pictures, looking at them with narrowed eyes.

„So?“ Loki asked impatiently and looked at Bruce with wide eyes. But his reaction was not how he’d hoped it would be.

„Unfortunately, nothing has changed. I’m very sorry, Loki.“ he put a reassuring hand on Loki’s shoulder, which he gazed at awkwardly.

„And what are we going to do now?“ he asked rather anxiously.

„I talked to Dr. Lewis, the surgeon I told you about. I didn’t mention that you’re…of a different species, but he still gave me some helpful advice.“ Bruce fished a piece of paper out of his jeans pocket and unfolded it clumsily on his desk. „He told me to check your blood glucose level regularly, because in most cases, it’s quite messed up. And he was so kind to prescribe you morphine for the pain, but I think that won’t do anything for you. The pain medication I’ve made, should help you better. But he didn’t know that either…“ Bruce drifted off and Loki grew even more impatient before he read the the note himself.

He frowned confusedly. „What’s a PEG?“ 

Bruce actually wanted to mention that part in the end because it was the most unpleasant one. So he sighed. „PEG stands for percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy. It’s a tube that goes through your abdominal wall into your stomach, so the contents can be drained out of it if necessary. It’s quite similar to your nasogastric tube, but less unpleasant.“

„Less- less unpleasant?“ Loki was shocked. He couldn’t be serious right now. „You really recommend putting a tube into my stomach, so my vomit can be drained out of it?“

Bruce lifted his arms in a defensive manner. „Hey, that wasn’t my suggestion! Besides, that would be the last resort. I’m fairly hopeful that the nausea will pass.“

„I really hope you’re right about that, Banner.“ Loki grumbled and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Bruce knew that the anger wasn’t really directed towards him but more to the seemingly desperate situation, Loki found himself in.

„Well, let’s get to work then. Give me one of your fingers, please.“ Bruce finally said and grabbed a small device out of the cupboard, which wasn’t much bigger than a smartphone. There was a slot at the bottom of it, where he inserted a testing strip. After the device peeped once, he took a sterile needle and poked Loki in his finger with it. The Trickster didn’t so much as flinch, he seemed to be not quite there at the moment. But the doctor couldn’t react to it since he had to work quick to catch the drop of blood until the wound closed itself again. The device peeped again after five seconds and Bruce looked at the result with wide eyes.

„Jesus, how can you even be consc-" Bruce couldn’t finish his sentence before Loki fell to the ground with a loud thud.

„Oh dear…“

That was the only thing Bruce could think of saying at that moment and quickly ran to the medicine cupboard, that somebody luckily had placed there. Stark really thought something through for once, he thought before concentrating on fetching a vial of glucose out of the cupboard and withdrew the medicine in a syringe. He quickly ran back to Loki and injected it to his i.v. and patted his cheeks awkwardly a few times. 

It took about a minute until Loki decided to open his eyes again, glaring at Bruce who was standing above him in an odd angle. 

„Are you okay?“

„Yes, of course. What kind of humbug was this?“ Loki asked and sat up with little help from Bruce. He felt the bump on the back of his head and winced slightly.

„Your glucose level was at 15 mg/dl. The norm would be around 70-100 mg/dl. An ordinary human being would’ve fallen into a coma or would’ve just.. well… died.“

Loki looked at him with a confused expression on his face, while Banner helped him up and sat him on the chair he fell off only minutes prior.

Without warning, Bruce poked Loki into the finger again and sighed with relief five seconds later.

„It’s now at 65 mg/dl, I think I got the dosage right.“ he said, kind of proud of himself as it was not an easy task to guess the right dosage for an alien. „Did you feel anything before it happened? I mean, did you feel weird like were you shaking or did you feel clammy or dizzy?“ Bruce asked and Loki thought about it.

„I did indeed feel some sweat on my back, but I didn’t think it would be a symptom of such a thing. I have been sweating more since the incident. But I did feel a little bit off, absent, if you’d like.“ 

Bruce nodded and sat back down on his chair as well. „Okay, all of those are symptoms you have to keep in mind for the future. But I’m afraid you’ll need to check your glucose level on a regular basis every few hours, or more if you’re feeling strange.“ Bruce looked at him seriously now, so that Loki realized, it was really important that he took his advice to heart. „There are also special insulin pumps, which measure your levels constantly and inject glucose or insulin into you through a small needle, depending on what your body is lacking.“ Bruce explained but of course, the God wrinkled his nose in disgust.

„Your ideas are quite pleasant today, Dr. Banner.“ he replied sarcastically.

„Well, unlike the nausea, the problems with your glucose level will stay as long as your pancreas is wounded. That will not pass anytime soon and I guess, that you want to return to the battlefield as soon as possible?“ 

Loki nodded quietly and thought about it. „And you really think that it will be necessary?“ he asked insecurely and Bruce slightly smiled at that. He was glad that the Trickster trusted him like that.

„I’m afraid so, yes. I wouldn’t mention it otherwise. But I’ll talk to Tony. I’m sure we can manage to make the device even smaller and more comfortable as it already is.“

Loki nodded again and walked back to his room with Bruce in tow.

Loki gave his consent, that Bruce was allowed to inform the others of what they’d just discussed. He himself was way to tired for a conversation like that, as there will be questions for sure. Mostly from Thor. So, he laid himself on his bed and was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow.

The rest of the Avengers were shocked at first, when Bruce told them about the „Blood sugar incident“. But after he explained to them, how they could treat it best, they relaxed again and sighed with relief.

Bruce had explained to Loki, how to use the glucometer and recommended setting a timer for every two hours, so that he wouldn’t accidentally forget to check it. If his levels were out of the norm, he should contact him immediately.

He was quite optimistic though, that he wouldn’t need the PEG and that the nausea was really just coming from his healed stomach, that had to adjust itself again. But they will have more answers in the next few days.

Today had been quite eventful, and usually, Bruce couldn’t find sleep after days like that even when he was feeling completely drained. But this time was different, because they finally knew how to help Loki and they would do everything in their power to support him in those though times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter after his one will be the last, but I'm already planning on writing a sequel to that. Maybe I will make a series out of it, but I'm not sure yet :)  
> What I can say for sure is, that this will not be my last Avenger!Loki fanfic. I really enjoyed writing about him and whumping him is my new hobby I guess.   
> So, let's see how it goes ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. This one is going to be the last chapter of this little story of mine! Thank you so much for reading and writing all those kind comments. I will definitely continue writing, maybe I will even come up with a new story in the next few days to weeks.

A month later, the Avengers were gathered in the Lobby in full gear. Fury had contacted them, apparently the Matauri were back.

„Who is even responsible for this?“ Steve asked the group, but nobody had an answer for that. 

All of them waited for Loki, who was finally allowed to step on a battlefield again. Luckily, the nausea did indeed vanish completely after two weeks and he could also handle the pain very well with just one or two injections per week. 

The only problem that still persisted was his glucose level. But just as promised, Bruce and Loki managed to create an insulin pump so small, that Loki could hardly feel it at all. The sensor, which measured his glucose levels constantly, was positioned on Loki’s lower abdomen and was as small as an one cent coin. There was also a sort of needle placed only inches next to the sensor, that was hardly bigger. Through the needle, he received the needed insulin or glucose, depending on how high his blood sugar was and the scientist also managed to calculate the right dosages suitable for the Trickster.

Loki had been living with the pump for three weeks now and he had to admit, that his initial distrust was soon eradicated. Instead, he was kind of glad to have it, after struggling more and more with the symptoms of his messed up glucose levels. Of course, he had to endure multiple teasing because of it, coming mostly from Tony.

„Hey, Sugar Boy!“ he happily called out to the Trickster, after he finally appeared in the Lobby. 

Loki just rolled his eyes. „Why are you calling me like that, Stark?“

„Isn’t it obvious? Sugar Boy? Diabetes? No, no one?“ Tony looked around expectantly but he only received annoyed glances, except for Clint who couldn’t hide a grin. „Oh, come on! I didn’t think I’d ever use diabetes and Loki in the same sentence, but here we are! It’s a real hoot!“

„You and the hawk seem to be the only one laughing about it. Don’t we have a battle to win?“ Loki said eventually, feigning annoyance.

Suddenly, a green/golden shimmer wrapped itself around his body and his armor appeared only seconds later. He touched his golden helmet with a smile on his face. Oh, how much he had missed this!

„Okay, everyone ready? Loki, you okay?“ Steve asked one last time and waited for the Trickster to nod before starting to head outside, with everyone following him. Everyone, except for Loki.

„Wait! I had to relinquish my seidr for so long. Thor, may I?“ Loki looked at his brother expectantly, who just rolled his eyes. But he was also glad, that he asked him for permission. Things had changed indeed during the last few months.

„Very well, go on.“ Thor nodded and Loki grinned like a little child.

„What’s happening here? What’s he up to?“ Barton asked confused and also a bit anxious. He definitely wasn’t accustomed to Loki’s magic, yet.

„I want you to join hands. I will teleport you to the battlefield.“ the Trickster grinned even wider, while his teammates started to stand next to each other, holding hands. 

Loki was standing in the middle between Thor and Natasha, and closed his eyes. He didn’t have to put much effort into the spell. He could teleport himself and even a bunch of people in his sleep and apparently, he hadn’t forgotten anything.

Suddenly, a green shimmer cloaked the whole team and it only took a few seconds before they were facing a big tree in the middle of the Central Park. 

Loki beamed. „That was magnificent!“ he shouted for joy and his teammates joined him. All of them were incredibly happy, to see him smile again.

But now, they had to focus on the battle in front of them. Like weeks prior, the place was swarming with Matauri and those flying Star Wars droid things. 

There was not even a single trace of fear on Loki’s face. He had fought in many battles and was injured multiple times in the past. Loki was a Prince of Asgard and the God of Mischief, you can’t scare him away so easily.

The creatures had started surrounding them and the Avengers gathered in a circle.

„Avengers! Assemble.“ Cap yelled and charged at the first Matauri that dared to cross his path, whilst throwing the shield at his windpipe before throwing it through the air, killing three droids at the same time with it.

Bruce had transformed into the Hulk only seconds after Cap attacked and literally teared the creatures apart. They were walking mindlessly at the green beast, who just grabbed their little heads and ripped them off their bodies, one by one.

Clint jumped onto one of the droids, which was flying around erratically now with all the additional weight. Clint managed to balance himself out on its head and was shooting multiple Matauri from his high position. But the droid was starting to sway to the sides like crazy and Clint couldn’t keep his balance anymore, so he jumped off it and rolled skillfully on the ground, shooting his recent transportation with an arrow.

Thor lifted Mjolnir into the air until a bright lightning appeared out of it, before bringing it to the ground with full force, sending a shockwave to every Matauri within a radius of 10 meters. They hurtled through the air and landed on the hard ground, unmoving.

Natasha fell back at first, wanting to kill the a few Matauri with her gun. But that soon proved to be boring, so she changed to close combat, sending her enemies with perfectly timed kicks and punches to the ground.

Tony was once again taking care of the majority of the „Droid-army“, how he liked to call them, and was flying around them in a circle, killing the first few with his repulsors at his palms. When he saw five more of them flying right at him, he pressed a small button at his wrist, sending five little missiles to the air with a whooshing sound. They were hitting their targets only seconds later.

Loki was having by far the greatest time. Finally, he could use his magic incautiously again and that, he did. He was casting illusion over illusion and the inane creatures tumbled through them repeatedly, until the real Loki suddenly appeared behind them and drove his dagger into their necks. It had been a while, since he felt so alive, even long before his injury. He started to form a green energy ball in his left palm, which was growing constantly until it reached the sitze of a stability ball. He waited patiently until a few Matauri had been gathered at the same place and fired his magic at them. They fell to the ground like bowling pins and didn’t stand up anymore.

Thor smiled at his brother, who disgustedly wiped the blue blood of one of the Matauri off his cheek. „How do you fare, brother?“ he asked rather sarcastically and Loki could only smirk at Thor’s question.

„What do you think?“ 

He cast two smaller energy balls for demonstration and fired them at two Matauri, who managed to sneak up on Thor. The Thundergod turned around hastily and gazed at the lifeless bodies of his enemies.

„Ha! That was supposed to be a test. Well done, Loki!“ he yelled over the battlefield and focused on the fight again.

Of course, Loki knew that Thor only tried and failed to divert from the situation, but oddly enough, that didn’t bother him much.

Once again, the Avengers had been victorious, not a single Matauri was left alive (They made sure of that this time). But suddenly, someone flew, no rode (or both?) onto the battlefield, sitting on a creature they’ve never seen before. It looked kind of similar to a Nazgul from the Lord of the Rings, but its eyes were glowing blue and an equally blue light was shimmering through its chest, probably supposed to be the heart. What a nerd, Tony thought.

The person riding the Nazgul (yes, Tony decided to just call it like that), looked rather inconspicuous. Tony was sure that he wouldn’t have payed attention to him at all on the streets.

The guy looked like a human, at least visually, but also did Thor and Loki and they were gods. He had medium-length, brown hair, whose greasy strands were hanging in his puffy face. He didn’t seem to be older than 35 years old and he wore a maniacally expression on his face.

Tony had thought that Loki’s looked like a lunatic when he attacked New York, but that guy was a whole other ball of wax. He clenched his dishellved, crooked teeth, while his Nazgul came to a halt on the ground in front of them.

„How dare you destroy my babies! Again!“ the guy yelled and pulled at his hair with both hands.

„Ooookay, I don’t know what you took, but maybe… don’t next time?“ Tony said and once again, couldn’t shut his cheeky mouth.

„And then you even have the temerity to insult me?“

„Don’t look at all of us, he said it.“ Clint added and pointed at Iron Man, who lifted his arms, clearly scandalized.

„Some support please. Aren’t we supposed to be a team?“ he joked sarcastically and that seemed to anger the lunatic even more.

„Enough! Is all of this a game to you?“ he asked, pointing a finger hatefully at the group.

„Well, honestly? This wasn’t much more than a warm up.“ Natasha shrugged with her shoulders and Tony had to smirk slightly under his helmet.

„Guys, stop it.“ Cap interrupted them and moved one step closer to the guy.

„Who are you and what do you want?“

„Who…who I am?“ he muttered angrily and looked to the side.

„I am Leonard Hellfire and you will soon get to know me!“ now, even Steve couldn’t suppress a grin. Was he serious right now?

„Okay he’s definitely nuts.“ Tony almost whispered, so only Clint and Natasha have been able to hear it and nodded approvingly.

„So tell me, what is it you’re striving for, Lord Hellfire?“ Loki questioned, allowing his silver tongue full bent. Thor remained silent, he knew it was going to get interesting now.

„Finally someone, who pays me some proper respect. Who are you, my lord?“ Leonard asked, politely this time.

„I am Prince Loki of Asgard. It’s a pleasure.“ Loki bowed to him and moved closer.

„Now would you be so kind to inform me about your intentions?“ Leonard seemed to have calmed down since Loki had started talking to him and he finally descended from his Nazgul.

He was as tall as Loki, but weighed about 30 kg more than him.

„I will take over the world!“ he yelled full of zest for action and clenched his fists.

„Seriously? Another guy like you?“ the Hulk couldn’t detect any danger anymore, so he had transformed back to Bruce again. He rolled his eyes and walked besides Tony.

Loki walked even closer to Leonard and began to whisper something in his ear, so that no one could hear him.

„I already tried that a few months ago and failed miserably. But I succeeded in gaining their trust and became one of their team. If you help me, we could destroy them together. But first, you have to trust me and follow my lead.“ Leonard nodded vigorously, while Loki explained his plan to him.

Loki put magical restraints on him a moment later, what he endured without contradiction and together, they walked back towards the Avengers.

When passing by the Nazgul, Loki moved his hand, invisible to Leonard’s eyes, and cast a spell to petrify the creature.

„Here, lock him up in a cell or feed him to the dogs. I don’t really care about his fate.“ he pushed the lunatic quite roughly towards Cap, who caught him at his upper arms.

Leonard turned his head rather shocked and looked at Loki, who smiled mischievously.

„What…what are you doing? We had a deal!“ he yelled and tried to wriggle himself out of Cap’s firm grip. To no avail of course.

„I’m the God of Mischief, what did you expect?“ he responded proudly and stretched out his arms.

„Come on now, Freak.“ Hawkeye said and helped Cap whilst taking Leonard’s other arm.

„Would you give us a lift again?“ Nat squinted at Loki, who nodded while walking towards her.

„We’ll take him to Fury right away, you go ahead. Barton, you will contact some S.H.I.E.L.D agents to remove this dragon like thing.“ Steve added before taking the lunatic off to Fury.

The rest of the Avengers took each others hands again and appeared in the living room of the Tower a second later.

„Wow, that was… crazy.“ Bruce sighed and sat down on the couch.

Tony, Nat, Thor and Loki did the same.

„What have you told him, brother?“ Thor asked curiously.

„I told him, that I had already tried to take over this realm, but failed. I suggested that he should trust me, so that we could betray and destroy everyone of you. He thought that my plan was to capture him and he would try to befriend you, with my help of course.“

„That was…quite clever, although rather deceitful.“ Bruce scratched his head awkwardly.

„Well, it was my plan after all. Besides, this creature’s intelligence was even less than that of Volstagg.“ that metaphor was only Thor’s to understand, who laughed hearty at that.

„What about you, are you alright? You didn’t seem to have problems during the fight.“ Bruce, always the not-that-kind-of-doctor, asked and looked Loki over. He looked exhausted but so did everyone else.

„I didn’t. Thanks to Tony and you. I never really thanked you for that, it…it means a lot, honestly. Without your help, I’d probably be dead or worse.“ Bruce didn’t even want to think about what Loki meant when he said „worse“, so he put a hand on his shoulder instead. Tony also nodded at him, smiling.

„Don’t mention it. I’m just glad you’re feeling better now and I think, everyone agrees to that.“ Thor, Nat and Tony nodded in agreement.

„Will you ever return to Asgard?“ Natasha asked eventually and rested her elbows on her knees.

That question seemingly took Loki by surprise, so he frowned. „I… I don’t know. Odin had shown me once again, that I am not welcomed on Asgard. What he did is inexcusable. But mother…“ he drifted off and lowered his gaze. „I will return someday to see my mother. But not any time soon.“ 

Thor could understand him. He remembered how he was feeling, after his father banished him from Asgard. His punishment was much mildly than that of Loki, of course, but he recognized the pain and disappointment that had to be burned even more deeply inside his soul.

There was a dead silence, that was luckily interrupted by Steve and Clint, who appeared through the door a few minutes later. Barton sat down next to his teammates, while Steve stopped in front of them and crossed his arms, exhaling audibly. 

„Come on, spill. Did the Crazy Frog confess?“ Tony asked curiously and frowned.

„He did. Fury just had to look at him and he talked our heads off. Apparently, he collected some material of the Chitauri army and created these creatures with it. Rather brilliant for someone with the IQ of a squirrel. But from a scientific point of view, he is undoubtedly gifted. Wait until I tell you what his motive was-" everyone’s eyes were glued to Steve’s lips, but they were also rather surprised of how emotional he told the Story. That was not like him at all.

„Gandalf the White appeared in his dreams and told him, that he must take over the world so that peace will exist in Middle-Earth again. Only by this could Sauron and Darth Sidi…Sidsus, no, Sidious be destroyed.“ 

Everyone, except for Thor and Loki, who had no clue of what he was talking about, raised an eyebrow. That guy seriously confused some fandoms here.

„Fury will also send a psychologist, but he is pretty sure that he is delusional and is probably suffering from more than one psychotic illness.“ Steve added and sat down on the couch as well.

That was crazy indeed. Even more crazy was the fact, that this lunatic almost managed to rob Loki of his life. That had definitely hurt his pride, but he didn’t show it. Instead, Thor pinched him in the upper arm.

„Ow! What was that for?“ he grumbled and massaged the spot theatrically, but it actually didn’t even hurt.

„I just wanted to say, that I’m very proud of you.“ he replied happily, but Loki only lifted an eyebrow, clearly clueless to what Thor was referring to.

„You would’ve undoubtedly killed this guy a few month prior, but now you spared his life and locked him away instead like an honorable man.“

„Look out, he’s going to join the police in no time.“ Tony joked but was secretly also very proud of the Trickster, who waved them off, clearly not accepting the praise.

„The punishment he’s going to receive is worse than death. I certainly would have preferred that.“

That night, they were sitting together, drinking alcohol and celebrating their victory. Loud music was blasting out of the boxes until late at night and Nat could’ve sworn, that when „Thriller“ was playing, Loki was dancing. Barely visible, but his body swayed slightly, while his foot tapped on the floor to the beat.

He drank out of his glass (he was the only one drinking water, as alcohol was still off-limits) and smiled. He was surrounded by his friends and beloved brother and was overwhelmed with joy. A sentiment he had never felt before in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, it's done! I've finished this story twice now, in german and in english and I couldn't be more happy about it! I don't know why I've never wrote something about Loki, but as I said earlier, I will definitely continue doing so :) 
> 
> Thanks again for reading, you've all been way too kind to me!


End file.
